The Lighthouse Family Life Helpline Ministry site is all about the family and how to make your life & marriage count in the Kingdom of God. The Love of God is the Bedrock of all Relationships.

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Man’s greatest tragedy is a broken relationship with God. Sin is the root cause of this break in fellowship between God and man. In order to have a meaningful relationship with God you must know who He is and how He works. This knowledge can only be gotten from His Word.

Who is God?

If we do not know and understand God correctly, we cannot commune in depth with Him, nor can we expect to receive His blessing.

(1) He is the God of Abraham; the God who cares. He cares for us, because He is a caring Father who will not allow His children to suffer.

(2) He is the God of Isaac; the God who provides. He provided Abraham with a ram in the place of Isaac. He is still the same today if we fully believe and obey Him; we shall receive uncountable blessings from Him like Isaac Gen26:1-14.

(3) He is the God of Jacob; the God who destroys. Just as God had to shatter and destroy all of Jacob’s ego and self will through agony and hardship, He still does the same with us today. He shatters our ego and selfishness through hardship and suffering. The purpose is to mold us closer to the image of Christ and be ready to be used as His servants to carry out His plans.

We can say from the lives of these three patriarchs that God the Father has a caring nature for all things, He offers blessings to those who believe and obey; and through hardships, and He molds us in the shape of Jesus Christ. Because of God’s molding of His children through hardship, most people do not believe that God is good. They see Him as a judgmental God, who should be avoided by all means. They believe He is a God that likes to see people suffer, and He resides far away in Heaven and does not care what happens to the people on earth. This mind set is from the pit of hell and it serves only one purpose, and that is to prevent us from enjoying a deep, glowing personal relationship with God. In order to have an intimate relationship with Him, we must first renew our minds with the Word of God. Reading the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, we will find that God the Father is a good God, who desires the best for His children (LK11:11-13; Matt7:9-11).

There is need for us to correct this misunderstanding for our own good. I must say here that the Father needs our cooperation in order to do good; Rom8:28 says”…..all things work together for good to those who love God…” When we love God, He fulfills His goodness and mercy through our cooperation. God is a righteous God; the fact that God is good does not mean He will close His eyes and accept us when we live according to our own will and commit sin. Because of His righteousness when we commit sin, we cannot escape His judgment. This is seen clearly in the drama that unfolded on the Cross. When Jesus in obedience to the will of the Father bore the sins of the world upon Himself, the Father judged Him mercilessly; the agony of the judgment was so much that Jesus cried out “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me? Matt27:46.

God will always forsake the sinner anytime any day. The good news is that, when we repent and turn away from our sinful ways, by allowing the atoning blood of Jesus Christ to wash us clean of all unrighteousness. We will be able to have a wonderful relationship with our Father. God is the only one who can provide answer to our deep rooted problem. Sin is that deep rooted problem that all mankind has to face Rom3:23.

We all have a spiritual lacking, a thirst that only Him can quench. This thirst cannot be quenched by anything the world has to offer, He alone has the solution for the quenching of our spiritual thirst and the redemption of our spirits. As we accept Jesus works on the Cross of Calvary for us by faith , we enter into an unbreakable relationship with God, for He has forgiven us our sins and has made us His children. He did not stop there, but went a step further to transform the environment we live in; for His Blood also healed our land, the curse on the earth was removed for our sakes so that we can have a blessed destiny. He is faithful and dependable; trustworthy and merciful

This is dedicated to all women out there who had been abused, misused, battered, beaten and disappointed in life. I have good news for you; you are unique, you are a Diva. One afternoon as I sat in the Presence of the Lord meditating on His faithful and the awesomeness of the Works of His Hands, I heard Him say to me “Tell them who I made them to be”, and I asked who are they Lord?

 They are Ornament of glory

  The Crowning glory of the Works of My Hands.

  They are made from the finished product to exhibit Beauty, Splendor and Glamour.

 They are a dignified specie.

 They are My Treasure. 1Cor15:41.

God did not create the woman as an afterthought but as an integral part of His Plan in creation. The woman was designed and built by God in love and with special care. He took time in fashioning the woman. Woman, your uniqueness is a reflection of God’s purpose and design for you. God wants us to know value and encourage the woman in what she was created to be. It was God who said man needed a woman Gen 2:18. Adam did not imagine the woman but God had her in mind during the creation of the earth Gen1:26-27. A woman is a product of God; this makes her God’s property, His Treasure. The creation of a woman was a beautiful structuring; the woman is a Masterpiece of the Great Architect Gen2:21-23. Welcome to the beginning of a new attitude. Attitude is everything. What you believe affects what you do, what you do affect the response you get from others or the results you receive. What you receive affects your attitude towards life, it then affects your next move in life, it further affects the outcome of your actions, which will then have a profound effect on your Joy level, Success in life, Fulfillment in marriage etc. The good news is that you can renew your mind, so that your life can be transformed into one of endless possibilities Rom12:2. In order to achieve a life of endless victory, you have to change your attitude to life. You have to change some old ideas and concepts, embrace some new concepts. You need a rebuilding of your inner woman. We need to take a serious look at not only our inner attitude but also our outer habits. What changes are you willing to make in your life? Are you willing to pay the price for your dream of a glorious destiny to come true? This is where the girls are separated from the women, the average woman from the divinely set apart woman. If you are willing to apply the principles you will learn as God takes us through these series of teachings your destiny will be changed forever. There are women who achieved the DIVA status in life; they attained this position in life through diligence and commitment to refine themselves and their gifts.


A Diva is a celebrated woman of rare and outstanding talent, a woman of class, integrity, honor and poise. A spiritually, emotionally and physically stable woman. A Diva is a divinely set apart woman. Webster dictionary defines DIVA as PRIMA DONNA a word that means First Lady. Divas are born and not made. There is a Diva inside every woman just waiting to be released.


1. She is an outstanding woman. 2. The ultimate woman. 3. She is the best in her field or career. 4. The First Lady of her home. 5. The crème de la crème. 6. Divas command attention without demanding it. There is an air of confidence, finesse, style and originality about a true Diva. 7. She is the King’s daughter. 8. A Diva never leaves a room without leaving a part of herself behind (a rich deposit of wisdom, an encouraging word). Something that leaves a lasting impression in the hearts of those who interacted with her. We attribute this special quality to God. A deposit of the divine nature of God was planted into the spirit of every woman when He created her. She was set apart for a unique purpose, with divine credentials for living out her calling. A stamp was placed on her that made everyone recognize she was special, but somewhere between infancy and womanhood something tragic happened – the Diva within was lost. The seed planted by God was crushed beneath disappointments, criticism, negative experiences, bad choices, unfruitful behaviors etc. Woman, the Lord is saying to you right now, it is time to shake off the dust and let the true Diva seed blossom and unfold Isa52:1-2. It is time to shake yourself from the dust of debasement and distress of false doctrines, superstition and will worship. God is calling you to sit upon the throne of your glory. 2Pt 1:3. There is need for us to embrace the fullness of our relationship with God, take and use His advice in every area of our lives so as to come out like the true Divas that we really are. In order to become this Total Outstanding and Victorious package, we need to make sure everything in our lives is in divine order– Spiritually, Emotionally and Physically. It is time to listen to God for He alone holds the valid opinion of who you are. He knows, sees and understands everything about you. He is Straightforward, Honest and ever optimistic about your divine possibilities. A true Diva is spiritual. She has embraced her Savior and yielded to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.


1. Discard the negative, absorb the positive. 2. Do not volunteer to be a victim. 3. Examine your friends and associates. 4. Find out what God has to say about the real you. 5. Protect what is precious to you, that is your heart, your body and your love. Pro4:23 6. Cultivate your Character and Gifts. 7. Take one day at a time, see the big picture God has painted of your life and work towards actualizing it. 8. Speak the truth, but always with graciousness and gentility. Let your goal be to encourage and not to destroy. 9. Do not seek to control, manipulate or cause others to depend heavily on you. 10. Be driven to empower others; this is where the true power lies. Unto us a Diva is born and unto us a divinely set apart woman is given.

You will probably have heard the story of “The Beauty and the Beast.” A young man who is pampered in his youth becomes increasingly arrogant and demanding as he grows older. Eventually, a wicked witch cast a spell on him transforming him into a beast as a punishment for his arrogance. His only hope for release was to be truly loved by a maiden; a seemingly impossible achievement. In his frustration he demanded to be loved, but his beastly behavior only drives people farther away until he was totally alone and isolated from the world of human beings. A woman saw something of value in the beast and begins to love him. That love transformed him back into a man and not just the man he was before, but a new, changed man. How could she have loved him as fearsome as he was? It’s a mystery, but it illustrates the power of a woman’s love.

Marriage is intended to be redemptive for both men and women. God has given women the privilege and the ability to bring life to our husbands with our love. Women have enormous power with men, which can be use for good or evil.

Consider these three examples from the Scripture:

The power of Delilah with Samson. Samson could take on an army of warriors, but he surrendered to the charms of one woman.

King David, who faced and felled a nine-foot Goliath, yet fell under the spell of Bathsheba. David was so obsessed, he was drawn away from his God into immorality, lies, and ultimately murder.

Solomon, who ruled over the golden years of Israel, but was captivated by the power of women. He became the first man to have seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines as stated in the Scriptures. Incredible!

A woman’s power over men has not lessened since those biblical days. Today, the advertising industry exploits this power in order to sell everything from cars to toothpaste. Magazines, billboards, posters, and store windows use attractive women, seductive women, and blatant sexual images to catch a man’s glance and capture his attention.

Every day men walk away from wives, children, friends, parents, siblings; risking career and reputation. For what? Another woman.

In the Middle East, young men and teenage boys willingly become human bombs, causing endless grief to thousands. For what? The promise of seventy-two beautiful virgins in paradise.

Female attraction can be deadly. But death was not our Designer’s intention. Feminine power was intended to give life. Eve (whose name means Life giver), was designed to complete her Adam, to nurture life in him and to create new life in children.

Many wives do not understand how profound this power is. God has blessed you with a feminine ability that you can use for good in your husband’s life. God has plans for your man. He wants to use you to grow him into a godly man. Your power can meet his loneliness and his companionship needs, affirm his sexual identity, protect him from temptation, and keep him for life.

Meet His Companionship Need

Something is missing in every man. And it’s by divine design. After God created Adam, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen 2:18). It’s an amazing truth that the perfect God of the universe created a perfect human being and then declared, “It is not good.” Man was incomplete in the sense that he was lonely. God orchestrated the perfect arrangement for His grand finale of creation: a woman, the “helper suitable for him.” It is still true since “in the beginning” in Genesis, a wife makes a man complete and whole.

Your husband has this same “loneliness” need.

God brought you into his life to be his “helper” to meet his need for a companion. In Christian marriage, this oneness is a unity of mind, body, and soul, and is celebrated through the sexual union.

Lest we women feel somehow superior that we are not needy. We are! We are incomplete without our husbands. We need our husbands to help us become who God designed us to be. Neither the man nor the woman can stand alone; as mentioned above, God’s Word makes it very clear “it is not good that man should be alone.” Women must think as God instructs them to in the Bible about their men, themselves and their marriages.

Of course, now after the fall of mankind, no one is totally complete without the indwelling presence of Jesus Christ. Moreover, perfect completeness cannot occur on earth, we will only attain this in Heaven. But in marriage we can touch the holiness of God; we can recapture a taste of what was lost in the Garden of Eden when a husband and a wife express love, transparency, trust, and sacrifice in the mystery of marital intercourse.

Bless His Sexuality

When God made a man to be attracted to a woman, He had multiple purposes in mind. Adam’s loneliness need was not just for a companion. He needed Eve for the joy of finding pleasure in her total person; body, soul, and spirit and for the affirmation and blessing of his identity as a man that come through her love for him. Gen 2:25 says, “. . . and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” As a result, every wife has a deep, life-altering responsibility to her husband to be a helper, and help him feel like the man God created him to be. If I love my husband, I won’t view his sexual needs disapprovingly. Since all men are created with a loneliness need, they journey from boyhood into manhood needing to know that their manliness is good and positive. Humanly speaking, this is a question that only his wife should answer a blessing only she should give.

Protect Your Husband from Temptation

You have the power to protect your husband from temptation by making sure his sexual needs are met by you and you alone. Look at it this way: “If you don’t want to do his laundry, your husband can take his clothes to the cleaners. If you decide you don’t want to cook anymore for him, he can go out to any number of great restaurants to eat. But if your husband isn’t getting his sexual needs met at home with you, and he goes somewhere else, God calls that a sin.” Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. If your husband sins in this way, he’s responsible before God. But at the same time, understand that you play a powerful role in helping him not to yield to temptation. God created us as men and women with overwhelmingly inbuilt differences. If you love him, you’ll want to protect him from the limitless temptations that the enemy of his soul floats by him day after day. You are most powerful as a wife when you become a student of what your husband likes and then use that knowledge and your feminine skill to protect him from temptation and sin.

Keep Him for Life

When we stated our vows at the wedding altar, most of us repeated the words “to have and to hold” and “till death do us part.” We signed up for life. But have you ever thought about what it means to “have” and “hold” your husband?

To have implies a possession. It means he belongs to you and no one else. He is your responsibility, and you are his. Are you fulfilling your sexual responsibility? For frequency? Creativity? Have you turned him down more often than you have invited his love? Do you put his needs before or after those of your children or your work?

To hold means to keep or bond, much like a magnet. A magnet has the power within to pull another polar opposite to itself. My husband and I are virtual opposites in nearly every way. It’s what attracted us to each other in the first place. But I must continue to be a magnet in his life if I am to keep him. Too many women would love to have him if I let him leave home for work or travel constantly in a state of sexual deprivation. 1Cor 7:5 (NKJV) tells us, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to . . . prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

This may come as no surprise to you, but most men want—really want—their wives to passionately desire them. And when you express sexual longing for him—whether verbally or nonverbally—your husband is unlikely to refuse your magnetic power. The more a wife affirms her husband’s God-given manhood, the more she helps build him into the man God wants him to be. This power of a wife to affirm him, bless him, protect him, and keep him is blessed by God. It is a very good, nurturing, life-giving gift. Knowing this, I’ve often wondered why we women don’t want or choose to use our God-given powers to affirm and nurture our husbands more often.

This power you and I have as wives is blessed by God. It is a very good, life-giving thing. The question remains: What will you do about this power you possess? Are you going to put it to death, bury it, deny it, or will you choose to exercise your sexual power to create a soul-satisfying confidence in your man?

May the Lord give you the wisdom and understanding to use your feminine power positively to the glory of God. Amen.

Old movies husband and wife

Old movies husband and wife (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As Christian couples we are called to walk in unity of heart and purpose with our spouses. The issue of the place of worship is one of such areas we must agree to walk together in unity.

Amos 3:3 says “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” In Amos’s question the word “together” means to walk as a unit, as one. Two people walk to the same destination at the same pace and with the same rhythm. They also must have “agreed” to take the walk of unity, as a unit with oneness.

Gen 2:24 tells us God created man and woman to become “one flesh” when they marry, not two separate beings who go their own separate ways.

There is a unity in marriage which is unique and holy. The moment you agree to marry each other, you are both agreeing to have one mind, one purpose, one desire etc. Your coming together is expected to bring completeness to each other in the areas of your deficiencies.

There is one area of unity in which the devil has been attacking Christian marriages. It is in the area of place of worship. In the course of counseling couples, I have been asked this question. Is it wrong for a Christian couple to attend separate churches?

You see married couples attending separate churches from their spouse is a situation that is more common than one might think. It is common for the children of such couples to be divided between the two churches, thereby creating a division in the family that is not healthy for the growth of that family.

In order to determine whether or not it is “wrong” for husband and wife to attend separate churches, we must first look at marriage as a relationship instituted by God.

What was God’s intention for establishing the marriage institution?

We will start from the very beginning. The Book of Genesis gave us an account of how God created the world and His purposes and desires which every creature is expected to fulfill.

He created man for the sole purpose of fellowship; after creating Adam, there was no playmate for Adam among the animals that will satisfy that desire of fellowship that God created in him. God had to create Eve and they (Adam & Eve) became one flesh Gen2: 18-24.

They were expected to fellowship together, plan and take decisions together and not to live separately. The entrance of sin brought an end to this beautiful desire of God. From that time everyone went his separate ways. Husbands and wives lost that divine seed of fellowship and oneness that God put in them at creation.

This was the order of the day among the children of Israel of old, husbands and wives involved in separate worship Hos 2:1-13. The same thing is still happening today, couples involved in separate worship.

With the coming of Jesus Christ, we were redeemed from sin and the seed of fellowship was restored back to us through the finished work on the Cross.

Moreover, marriage is the picture of Christ and His Church (Believers) as described in Eph 5:31-32. The marriage covenant between a man and a woman is symbolic of the covenant between Christ and those for whom He died. His is an everlasting covenant and one that is holy and sacred, just as marriage is to be holy, sacred and unbroken. This unity of two people into one reaches its most sacred in the spiritual realm, where the two are to be of one mind regarding the basic doctrines of Christianity; God, Christ, sin, salvation, heaven/hell, etc. This unity of understanding through the ministry of the Holy Spirit unites husband and wife in a bond unlike any other on earth.

While it’s possible for husband and wife to have differing tastes as far as music, preaching or worship styles, children’s programs, etc., none of these things are significant enough to break up the family into two parts so they can attend different churches based on tastes.

It is clear that if both churches are Bible-based and Christ-honoring, there is no reason why one spouse can’t bend a little and put his/her personal preferences aside. An even better alternative is for the couple to join together to seek a church, where the Word of God is preached as the only source for faith and practice. Where the entire family can learn the true gospel of Jesus Christ and fellowship with like-minded believers. In this, the husband as the spiritual head of the family should take the lead and make the final decision, lovingly taking his wife’s input into consideration.

This issue of common place of worship between married couples is a problem that cut across religion and ethnic groups.

Sadly, the two church family situations have continued to be a problem among Christian believers (purchased by the Precious Blood of Jesus). It is a shame that, we who are expected to show the world the true meaning of fellowship and unity in marriage are not practicing what we profess.

Matt 5:14 says “we are the light of the world, a city set on the hill that cannot be hidden”. Other religions are to take example from us on how to rule their affairs and their homes.

By the time the man of the house wakes up to his spiritual responsibility as the Priest of his house and prayerfully seeks the face of the Lord concerning the mind of God for his family’s place of worship, the issue of two church family will become a thing of the past.

The problem of two-church family is most common in marriages, where the couple is raised in different denominations with different doctrinal positions. The Bible tells us that a man (woman) shall leave his/her father and mother and they shall become “one flesh”. This means apart from physically leaving your parents homes to become married to each other; you are to leave behind denominational and doctrinal differences and prayerfully adopt the worship center God has ordained for you as a couple.

Without mixing words, in the issue of the church where you should worship as a married couple, the wife must worship where her husband worships for the sake of peace, harmony and unity of the home.

This is why Apostle Paul admonished us not to be unequally yoked 2Cor6:14-16, it is very dangerous for a bible believing young lady to be yoked together in marriage with a non bible believing young man or someone with different doctrinal position from her own.

Once she marries such a man, she is expected to believe what he believes!!!

Two people entrenched in their different doctrinal positions often find it difficult to compromise and reconcile, a couple in such situation may be forced to attend different churches, especially if one or both spouses consider the other spouse’s beliefs to be unbiblical.

If you find yourself in such situation in marriage, there is hope, for with God all things are possible Matt19:26. Both spouses should commit to prayer that the truth is revealed and spiritual unity be achieved.

Let’s not deceive ourselves, doctrinal conflicts must be resolved in a marriage before true unity can be achieved.

The benefits of a couple worshipping together in the same church cannot be overemphasized.

Below are some of the benefits of worshipping in the same church as a family.

1. You and your family have the same spiritual covering.

2. Have a common spiritual base from where you can launch attacks on the enemy of your soul and home.

3. Feed from the same spiritual table.

4. Enjoy spiritual unity, such that the enemy cannot penetrate your home Matt18:19.

5. Have opportunity of building a relationship with other believers with like minds, thereby having common spiritual friends.

6. Your children enjoy the fellowship of other children whose parents are also members of the church.

In any way the enemy has been cheating you of the benefits of worshipping together in the same church as a family, I pray that the Almighty God will intervene in your affairs and give you the desire of your heart in Jesus Name. Amen.