The Lighthouse Family Life Helpline Ministry site is all about the family and how to make your life & marriage count in the Kingdom of God. The Love of God is the Bedrock of all Relationships.

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To all mothers and mothers in waiting your walk with God is very vital to the successful training of your child in the way of the Lord. You can only give what you have and not what you have not Acts3:6. If your walk with God is questionable, then your children’s walk with God will be questionable too. Likeness, if your walk with God is worthy of emulation, your children’s walk with God will make Him proud of you and your children. One vital way of walking with God, is through your fellowship with Him. How strong is your devotion to God? How strong is the cord of relationship binding you with God? As a mother your time with God is very important, irrespective of the fact that you have a busy schedule– especially if you are a working mother. God expects you to have time to be with Him in the midst of your busy and overcrowded time schedule. In fact God wants your best time and not your leftover. You must cultivate a habit of seeking Him first thing in the morning that means as a mother you must rise up early, even though you are the last to go to bed. Prov31:15,18 “she gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and for her servants…..she knows when to buy and sell, and she stays busy until late at night” (Contemporary English Version). As you wake up early at night to lift your household before the Lord, God gives you direction as to how to run the affairs of your home, and also God stays the hands of the evil one over your family. The devil will never have the opportunity to sow tares in the lives of your love ones, as you are always alight in the spirit; spiritually you are on fire. The devil can only sow tares, when you are in sleepy state –physically and spiritually. “How do I cultivate a meaningful relationship with God, how do I stay permanently connected, even in my moments of discouragement and struggles? In order to attempt to answer the above questions, we must start from the very beginning.

Overcoming the Guilt Feeling.

Nothing kills the joy of meeting with God than guilt. Recurring guilt is perhaps the most frequent struggle in our walk with God. We wonder why we do not feel right with God or why we haven’t spent more time with Him or for Him. Most of us have tried, but we have puzzled over what it really should be and we have felt miserable over our failures. The reason why this part of our faith is so troublesome and so hard to grasp is because we do not know what we are pursuing. As mothers we must get past the guilt feeling and pursue after God, strive to know Him on a personal note.

Getting Personal with God.

Surprisingly, most of us live as if God were not a person, most suspect that He exists but never live as if they expect to meet Him face to face/person to person. We claim a personal faith, yet our relationship with God is impersonal. We believe God is Holy, Righteous and Almighty. But these qualities keep us from seeing Him as a person, so God becomes someone we put on a pedestal so far above us that He ceases to be a person. The reason we meet with God is to know Him as personally as possible. This is the mystery of meeting with God. God said in Gen1:26 “let us make man (woman) in our own image, after our likeness….” It is not a flesh and blood image but a personality image—a person with intellect, emotions and will. God provided us with three experiences to help us understand how we are made in His image. Using our intellectual ability help us learn the mind of God, our minds was made so that we could know God. The relationship at this level involves two thinking persons. Hence God said in Isa1:18 “come now, and let us reason (think) together”. In our devotional time with God we bring our thoughts in line with His, thereby rubbing our small minds with His Superior Mind and we come out as superstars. The second experience is expressed in marriage. We learn to use our emotions by loving someone else. In this experience God teaches us that He is an emotional person. Love is a priority for our relationship with God. When you are in love with someone you always crave the presence of that person. Whenever you are around that person, everybody around you knows you are in a relationship with that person. There is a love bond between you too. This is how it should be with us and God. Unfortunately, this is not so for most of us. Your love expression for God is easily expressed and explained by your love for your spouse. If your devotional time with God is boring and a mere act of duty, then check yourself, if you are sincere, you will discover you are having a struggle with your relationship with your spouse. The third experience God gave us is expressed in our obedience to His commands—the use of our will or choices. God is a person of will as we are. To have a personal relationship with God, you need to know and respect His will, just as He knows and respect your will. God gave us a mind to know Him and to bring into harmony with His Mind, a heart to love Him and to bring into harmony with His Heart and a will to obey Him and to bring into harmony with His Will. God made us to be so like Him, so that we could know Him to the fullest of our created ability. In conclusion, we could say according to Dr Dwight Pentecost “what a man truly knows he will love, and what he truly loves, he will serve. This is what being personal with God is all about—knowing, loving and serving. This is what makes devotional time possible.

If it is this simple, why is it so hard for me to be personal with God.

Adam’s sin of disobedience in the Garden of Eden corrupted the perfect image of personality we had with God. Sin erupted that relationship of communing with God in the cool of the day. Since then our ability to know God has been darkened; our love for God has been degraded; and our ability to obey Him disabled. We no longer naturally seek Him. We find it hard to love Him with pure motives and to obey Him becomes difficult. No wonder God doesn’t seem very personal to us anymore. Thank God for the coming of Christ, He restored us back to that fellowship of intimacy with God through His death on the Cross. He reconciled us back to God, so that we can get personal with God again 2Cor5:17-19. God through the atoning death of Jesus Christ changed our corrupted image back to the original image 2Cor3:18. God through Christ gave us back the ability to know, love and serve Him. This is what life as a mother is all about, to know God as deeply as you can and to translate that knowledge into the training of your children. Thereby raising children after God’s heart. This is life eternal, that we as mothers might know Him, as the only true God and Jesus Christ whom He sent (Jn17:3). The knowledge of God is the best possession you can have in life as a mother, for it brings with it joy, delight and contentment. Another obstacle, to our being friends with God comes in the form of barrier of formality. We have been taught to revere God, and God Himself commanded it but He is also our Father and we are a family, He went out of His way to adopt us Rom8:15, so we are to maintain a close familiar relationship with Him. How will you feel as a mother when your child calls you, “Mrs. Your Surname”, rather he calls you mum or mama. Jesus always referred to God as Father. God also wants us to refer to Him as Daddy. In your closet call Him an informal name. In Isa54:5, the bible says, your maker is your husband, so why don’t you call Him some sweet names like Darling, Love of my life, my Sunshine or you can call Him some special names in your local dialect. When you do this you are establishing an intimate relationship with Him. Devotion is all about relationship, the one you have a relationship with, you will always want to be with. We find it difficult to enjoy a time of devotion with Him because we do not have a relationship with Him. Our time of devotion is just a mere act of duty and nothing else. Mothers let us develop an attitude of friendship with our divine Lover and Husband, who is ready and patience enough to listen to all our real and imagined frustrations, and moments of joys we encounter as we raise a godly family that will glorify God. He gave us the husbands and the children, He knows these precious individuals very well, and He alone can help us to understand the workings of their minds. This makes being a wife and a mother, a thing to be cherished, a duty to be carried out with gladness of heart. As we walk with God on a friendly note, we shall enjoy the blessedness of motherhood in Jesus Name. Amen.

A Prayer for Mothers

Most Gracious Heavenly Father ,

I thank you for every mother to whom You have entrusted the care of every precious human life from its very beginning in the womb.

You have given to woman, the capacity of participating with You in the creation of new life. Grant that every woman will come to understand the full meaning of that blessing.

Watch over every mother who is with a child, strengthen her faith in Your Fatherly care and love for her and her unborn baby. Give her courage in times of fear or pain, understanding in times of uncertainty and doubt, and hope in times of trouble. Grant her joy in the birth of her child.

Grant that all mothers may worthily foster the faith of their children, following the examples of the holy women in the Bible who followed Christ. Help mothers to grow daily in knowledge and understanding of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and grant them the wisdom to impart this knowledge faithfully to their children and to all who depend upon them.

 For all the mothers in waiting, Father as You answered the cries of women like Sarah, Rachel, Hannah and Elizabeth, grant unto them their heart desires also. Let them also experience the joy of motherhood as they serve You faithfully, trusting in Your undying love and faithfulness. Help them to fulfill their destinies as mothers.

I beseech You to send Your Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to all mothers who sorrow for children that have died, are ill or estranged from their families, or who are in trouble or danger of any kind. Help grieving mothers to rely on Your tender mercy and Fatherly love for all Your children.

I ask your blessing on all those to whom You have entrusted motherhood. May Your Holy Spirit constantly inspire and strengthen them. May all mothers receive YourGrace abundantly in this earthly life, may they look forward to eternal joy in Your Presence in the life to come. As we celebrate Mothers’ day, make the joy of every mother be full. In Jesus Name I pray Amen.

Eph 2:13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. By the finished works on the Cross of Calvary through the Blood of Jesus Christ a new covenant was enacted by God which is the covenant of Grace which brought us Gentiles into the Commonwealth of Israel and been made to partake of the promises of God through the Blood of the Lamb. This covenant is a covenant of relationship. The phrase “in Christ” indicates the extent of the intimacy that is available by Grace. It is where we live spiritually and it is also how we live. As a fish is in the Sea and lives on the resources of the Sea, we are in Christ and live on the resources of Christ. As sure as an unborn child is in the mother’s womb and lives on the life of the mother, we also are in Christ and live on the life of Christ. We are not only brought near by the blood of Jesus, we are joined to Him in a “united closeness” like a head to the its body. He is the Head of the Body, the Church Col1:18. We can relate to the Lord more closely than the members of our physical body relate to our physical head. We can look to Jesus for direction and coordination. We can depend on Him for planning, guiding and timing in our entire lives. We can anticipate that He will monitor, maintain and adjust our situations. The intimacy is also like a vine and its branches. “I am the Vine, you are the branches” Jn15:5. We can look to Jesus for our very life source for we can produce no life on our own. We can concentrate on abiding in Him. He makes our lives fruitful and effective. The intimate relationship the Lord wants to develop with us is likened to the joining of a husband and a wife Rom7:4.We can count on Jesus to love us faithfully and sacrificially. We can rest on His constant companionship, never leaving us for any reason throughout our journey here on earth.

What blessings are ours for time and eternity in Christ. Joined intimately to Christ, nothing can separate us from the love and kindness that He has for us: “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor heights nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” Rom8:38-39, and “that in ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” Eph 2:7.

Say this prayer with me:

Lord Jesus, I am overwhelmed by the intimacy that is available to me, now that I am united to You. Lord, I want to depend upon You as my Vine, follow You as my Head, and love You as my Bridegroom. Lord, please continue to reveal to me the implications of being joined to You for all time and eternity, in Your Holy Name I pray, Amen

Unity is a triple braided cord. One friend plus another plus Christ make the cord not easily broken (Eccl4:9-12). Our commitment to Christ binds us irrevocably to each other. We find our oneness in Him Jn17:21-23.                                         When Christ is the source and center of a marriage negative forces cannot pull it apart. There is a buffer of Christ grace when we fail or disappoint each other. We belong to Christ and each other in spite of what happens around us. Jesus wants us to know the same oneness with one another that He has with God the Father. He engenders in us love, forgiveness and patience for one another.                                    When Christ is the unbreakable strand in the triple braided cord it cannot be severed. Amos3:3 our commitment to God must first be in place in order for us to develop true and meaningful relationship with others. When we agree with God in all our ways, He makes it possible for our ways to be agreeable with the people around us –our spouses, family members, business associates and neighbors. When your ways are pleasing to the Lord, He will make your enemies to be at peace with you. It is the work of the Holy Spirit to make your enemies to be at peace with you only when your ways pleases God.                              You must carry out all instructions from the Lord with faithful obedience, for anything done without faith is sin. The whole issue of unity is love –Christ’s love for us and our willingness to love others as Christ loved us Jn13:34. Christ’s love for us is not dependent on a quality that makes us loveable. He loves us because He IS love, regardless of our strengths or weaknesses; this thought maybe humbling to some who want to be chosen, called and cherished because of their human credentials of talent, personality or achievement. Christ’s love is not motivated by any of these human qualities, but by grace motivated. If we are to love His way we must ask for it Jn14:14, and also we must learn that the Holy Spirit must give us the power Jn14:16 He is our Helper who will help us love like Christ. In a world of bartered manipulation, give and take etc unity is not possible without Christ commandment and our willingness to receive His love for others. Unity is Christ miracle of oneness. In Gen2:24 the scripture tells us that a man and his wife are to become one with each other (one flesh). In Jn17:1-26, Jesus prayed for the same oneness He has with the Father for His disciples. He and the Father shared the same purpose, plan and power.                                 It is this kind of oneness God expects from us in our relationships –as couples, as family members and as believers in Christ generally. Christ came not to do His own will but to do the Father’s will Jn6:38.   Likewise our unity is dependent on sharing the priority of seeking and doing the Lord’s will. The equation of oneness is profound, and yet very simple: one plus one plus one equals one—Christ plus the husband plus the wife equals one. It is the Christ in our spouses who reaches out to the Christ in us. Likewise the Christ in our fellow believer reaches out to the Christ in us. We are united in and through Him. It is a miracle of the indwelling Christ. The miracle of Christ’s indwelling power is that, the love He revealed is exactly the love He will communicate to others through us. When this quality of love is the basis of a relationship whether marriage or social the miracle of unity is possible. In Eph4:1-16, the scripture presses us towards a recognition of our mutual dependence not only upon Christ, but also upon one another as we learn to minister in love to the needs of each other. The ministry of the Holy Spirit is to bring us together in oneness based on the shared belief in Christ as Lord and Savior, His atoning death, His victorious resurrection and His reigning power. The Spirit overcomes our natural tendencies to selfishness, independence and self serving. He draws us together with our spouses/other believers and creates the miracle of oneness Jesus prayed for in John 17. we cannot overlook the fact that there are obstacles or blockages to unity. It is often the temptation of secondary issues of life that keeps us from living in unity with each other.These secondary issues could be among many others—commitment to parents, family background, denomination, religious beliefs etc. Unity is difficult when these secondary considerations becomes the basis for judging or staying away from others. In addition to the above issues, racial, cultural or social difference, education, position, financial status or political beliefs can stand between couples, keeping them from loving each other and experiencing the unity that Christ desired for them. When we major in minors we end up as failures in life and marriage. The only way to overcome this is to be sure Christ is first and foremost in our lives and to set aside the secondary thing that has little value. The key to a unified relationship is found in 3Jn3. Walking in the Light and truth of God’s word is the ultimate key to true unity. Christ is our Light Jn8:12. In His Light, we see the truth, live the truth and speak the truth. The Holy Spirit is the inner Light who helps us walk in unity with our spouses and fellow believers. John puts it clearly “if we walk in light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another” (1Jn1:17). Unity– true practical love—happen when we walk in the light and in the truth – This is the bedrock of marriage. Mutual forgiveness is most important as we cultivate true unity in our relationship with our spouses and fellow believers.

There are very few husbands today who feel like they do not have enough to do. It is quite the opposite! Our husbands sometimes feel overwhelmed by the enormous tasks and obligations that they are responsible for such as (church, work, home, wives and children). In the midst of all this, it is easy to lose sight of your priorities as a husband. We shall be discussing some vital priorities of a godly husband, which should serve as a quick check list for any one desiring to be a godly husband.

Five Vital Priorities of a Godly Husband.

#1. Love God (Deut 6:5). Being a godly husband begins with being a godly man; being a godly man begins with loving God above all things. Jesus speaking in Mk12:30: “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and with all your strength”. This is the greatest commandment because God created us first and foremost to be in relationship with Him. It is the foundation of life and foundation of our marriages. If God is not your greatest priority, you have no foundation upon which to build your life and marriage. Loving God above all things means, you seek to cultivate your relationship with Him. This is done primarily by reading His Word, prayer and fellowship with one another. It is important for you to be committed to these things and still have time for your family. Be flexible according to your time constraints and set your expectations accordingly.

#2. Love your Wife (Eph 5:25-29). “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ love the Church and gave Himself for her…” This is a sobering command! Let’s consider the implication critically: The way you love your wife should be a reflection of how Jesus loves the Church. To be more practical about it: Your wife should know what Jesus’ love is like simply by the way you love her. So what was Jesus’ love for the church like? Above all, it was self sacrificing. Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her….Eph5:25. Husbands will love their wives the way Jesus loved the Church; when they live self sacrificing lives in marriage and put their wives’ good ahead of their own. Perhaps one of the most practical steps you could take is simply to ask your wife. “Honey, are there any areas in our marriage where you do not feel like I am loving you? Are there any areas where you feel like I am putting myself ahead of you and your good? These are bold questions to ask! Moreover you should not ask them if you are not willing to hear the suggestions that might come! But if you are serious about loving your wife as Christ loved the Church, you will probably need your wife’s help in order to understand how to love her better. Also, consider seeking out a brother whose marriage you respect and meet together on a regular basis to pray about being a godly husband. God consistently tells us in His Word that relationships and accountability are powerful tools for growth in the Kingdom Eccl4:9-12; Heb10:24-25.

#3. Manage your Family Well (Eph 6:4). Parents are exhorted to bring up their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.Deut6:6-7a. Fathers in particular are commanded to instruct their children in the ways of the Lord. “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” Eph6:4. Yes, children are expected to obey their parents Eph6:1-3. But fathers, Paul says, “do not make this difficult for the children!” Godly fathers are not dictators who need to prove their authority by constantly giving orders, commands and making new rules that are difficult to keep! Godly fathers focus on helping their children to understand who the Lord is; they want their children to know that God’s ways are good ways and that His commands are for their good. Since God is the perfect Father, one of the most practical things you can do, is get to know God better. Understand His Character. Know how He responds and relates to His Children. As you grow in your understanding of who God is and how He relates to you, you will grow in your understanding of how you should relate to your children. Seek the counsel of those who have gone ahead of you. Soren Kierkegaard once said, “We have to live life forwards, but can only understand life backwards”. The trick, then, is to find someone whose “backwards” is your “forwards”! Seeking out a godly father for wisdom and advice is invaluable. Jer 6:16 says “Thus says the Lord: Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the old paths, where the good way is, And walk in it; Then you shall find rest for your souls…..”.

#4. Provide for your Family (2Thess3:10-12 & 1Tim5:8). The importance of providing for your family should not be missed: “for even when we were with you, we commanded you this: if anyone will not work, neither shall he eat”. Paul is not talking here of those who earnestly desire work and have been laid off or are struggling to find a job. He is talking about those who are lazy. Providing for your family presents at least two different challenges. Some find their jobs not enjoyable and frustrating, while others choose to let their jobs take a higher priority than their family. One thing you need to recognize is that you are responsible for the upkeep of your family. The Scripture says “if anyone does not provide for his own household, he has denied the faith and he is worse than an unbeliever”. What this means is that you have not only failed to live up to the faith you profess, but you have failed to live up to the code of unbelievers concerning family obligations. The issue is not whether you enjoy the job or not, but whatever job your hands find to do, do it diligently believing God for a better and more rewarding one. Secondly, do not let your job take a higher priority than your family. If you are already doing that, you need to repent. Of course there will always be times when your job demand more of you than at other times, but many men make the mistake of feeding their egos and ambition through their accomplishments at work at the expense of their family and relationship with

#5. Be involved in a Local Church (Heb10:25). Get involved in a good local church that believes in the Bible and teaches it well! Involvement in a local church is not an option for the Christian it is a command. “not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching” Heb10:25. This is absolutely essential to the spiritual well being of your family.

In conclusion, as you religiously put your priorities in proper place and order, God Almighty will through the help of the Holy Spirit make you a godly husband and father indeed. God bless you.