Eccl4:9-12 “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up. And if one prevails against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken”.
Let us concern the threefold cord that binds people together in relationships. Though the above verse is often quoted during wedding ceremonies, but it applies to all relationships. In marriage especially, the threefold cord is the husband, wife and the Holy Spirit.
The Scripture says in Mal2:15 “And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously in your relationship“. It is interesting to note that for every godly relationship, God expect godly seed. Therefore, make your friendship a healthy one based on godly principles and nothing else.
When two people enters into a relationship whether in marriage or in normal friendship, they automatically enters a covenant whether they recognize it or not.
We all know that apart from holy matrimony, there are other relationships we keep in church, office, school, family and business. In every godly relationship, there is one invisible partner (Holy Spirit) which is the cord that ties the relationship together.
When the people involved in this relationship are bound together by God’s principles and allowed the relationship to be based on God’s Word, then, the Holy Spirit which is the cord brings to bear faithfulness, forbearance, honesty, consideration, harmony, peace and joy which will culminate in open door of blessing from above.
In our society today, it is sad to note that not all relationships are bound together by God’s Spirit. It is amazing what ties or bind some people together.
Let’s take a closer look on some relationships we keep, you will discover the underlying cord. For example, two women who are against their mothers in law, their binding cord might be hate or bitterness; two employees who are against their employer might as well be joined together by a cord of unforgiveness.
Other cords that bind people together includes: womanizing, partying, prostitution, gossiping rebellion, etc… Any relationship that is not promoting the kingdom of God is certainly promoting the kingdom of darkness.
TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS
The common relationship serves to benefit oneself. These benefits may be in the form of money, glory, self—worth, rewards, etc. The relationship flourished as long as these benefits are flowing.
There is another form of friendship, which is not common. This is a relationship with no hidden agenda, it is the God’s type of relationship that flows with agape love, and it serves for the benefit of another.
We all desire this type of relationship, but very few people are willing to pay the price for this type of relationship.
Let’s consider some examples of relationships in the Scriptures.
1. Ruth and Naomi
(Ruth 1:16): Ruth and her mother in law; the cord that bound together was the cord of love, despite their cultural difference and religious background, they had undying love for each other. Pro17:17.
2. David and Jonathan (1Sam20:3-4, 16-17): King Saul knew the bond between his son Jonathan and David was a bond of love, so he kept his wicked plot against David’s life hidden from his son. Jonathan was ready to sacrifice everything for the relationship he had with David Pro18:24.
3. Daniel and his Friends (Dan2:17-19): Danger was looming over the land but Daniel and his companions decided to seek heaven’s intervention. Note they did not gather to murmur nor complain; neither did they gossip the king nor curse him. Pro15:4.
1Kgs13:18. A prophet lying to a fellow prophet.
1Kgs3:19-20. Two friends switching each other’s blessing.
Lk22:47-48. Jesus betrayed by a friend’s kiss (Judas Iscariot).
1Kgs21:10. Jezebel ordered the murder of Naboth by his kinsmen.
Acts6:10-14. Stephen murdered by the men of the synagogue
Acts23:12-14. Jews bound with an oath to destroy Paul the Apostle.
Every relationship worth having should be bound by the Spirit of God. Instead of that relationship being a weight that will lead to destruction, it should help the people involved withstand evil and a threefold cord is not easily broken.
In a nutshell, real friendships don’t just happen and they are not maintenance free.
For us to have valuable relationships we should ask ourselves some questions like: How would you describe your friendships? What is God doing in both of you, individually and together as friends? How can you help each other become all God wants you to be?
A relationship based on godly principles and sealed by the binding force of the Holy Spirit will be refreshing, peaceful and never burdensome.
Finally, Matt18:19-20 emphasizes the dynamic power available in prayer of agreement. So, let us utilize this mystery for our advantages and for the enhancement of God’s kingdom.
Let the Holy Spirit help us choose our friends and partners.
- The Priorities of a Godly Husband. (covenantfamilyaffairs.wordpress.com)
- The Christian Marriage (covenantfamilyaffairs.wordpress.com)
You will probably have heard the story of “The Beauty and the Beast.” A young man who is pampered in his youth becomes increasingly arrogant and demanding as he grows older. Eventually, a wicked witch cast a spell on him transforming him into a beast as a punishment for his arrogance. His only hope for release was to be truly loved by a maiden; a seemingly impossible achievement. In his frustration he demanded to be loved, but his beastly behavior only drives people farther away until he was totally alone and isolated from the world of human beings. A woman saw something of value in the beast and begins to love him. That love transformed him back into a man and not just the man he was before, but a new, changed man. How could she have loved him as fearsome as he was? It’s a mystery, but it illustrates the power of a woman’s love.
Marriage is intended to be redemptive for both men and women. God has given women the privilege and the ability to bring life to our husbands with our love. Women have enormous power with men, which can be use for good or evil.
Consider these three examples from the Scripture:
The power of Delilah with Samson. Samson could take on an army of warriors, but he surrendered to the charms of one woman.
King David, who faced and felled a nine-foot Goliath, yet fell under the spell of Bathsheba. David was so obsessed, he was drawn away from his God into immorality, lies, and ultimately murder.
Solomon, who ruled over the golden years of Israel, but was captivated by the power of women. He became the first man to have seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines as stated in the Scriptures. Incredible!
A woman’s power over men has not lessened since those biblical days. Today, the advertising industry exploits this power in order to sell everything from cars to toothpaste. Magazines, billboards, posters, and store windows use attractive women, seductive women, and blatant sexual images to catch a man’s glance and capture his attention.
Every day men walk away from wives, children, friends, parents, siblings; risking career and reputation. For what? Another woman.
In the Middle East, young men and teenage boys willingly become human bombs, causing endless grief to thousands. For what? The promise of seventy-two beautiful virgins in paradise.
Female attraction can be deadly. But death was not our Designer’s intention. Feminine power was intended to give life. Eve (whose name means Life giver), was designed to complete her Adam, to nurture life in him and to create new life in children.
Many wives do not understand how profound this power is. God has blessed you with a feminine ability that you can use for good in your husband’s life. God has plans for your man. He wants to use you to grow him into a godly man. Your power can meet his loneliness and his companionship needs, affirm his sexual identity, protect him from temptation, and keep him for life.
Meet His Companionship Need
Something is missing in every man. And it’s by divine design. After God created Adam, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen 2:18). It’s an amazing truth that the perfect God of the universe created a perfect human being and then declared, “It is not good.” Man was incomplete in the sense that he was lonely. God orchestrated the perfect arrangement for His grand finale of creation: a woman, the “helper suitable for him.” It is still true since “in the beginning” in Genesis, a wife makes a man complete and whole.
Your husband has this same “loneliness” need.
God brought you into his life to be his “helper” to meet his need for a companion. In Christian marriage, this oneness is a unity of mind, body, and soul, and is celebrated through the sexual union.
Lest we women feel somehow superior that we are not needy. We are! We are incomplete without our husbands. We need our husbands to help us become who God designed us to be. Neither the man nor the woman can stand alone; as mentioned above, God’s Word makes it very clear “it is not good that man should be alone.” Women must think as God instructs them to in the Bible about their men, themselves and their marriages.
Of course, now after the fall of mankind, no one is totally complete without the indwelling presence of Jesus Christ. Moreover, perfect completeness cannot occur on earth, we will only attain this in Heaven. But in marriage we can touch the holiness of God; we can recapture a taste of what was lost in the Garden of Eden when a husband and a wife express love, transparency, trust, and sacrifice in the mystery of marital intercourse.
Bless His Sexuality
When God made a man to be attracted to a woman, He had multiple purposes in mind. Adam’s loneliness need was not just for a companion. He needed Eve for the joy of finding pleasure in her total person; body, soul, and spirit and for the affirmation and blessing of his identity as a man that come through her love for him. Gen 2:25 says, “. . . and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” As a result, every wife has a deep, life-altering responsibility to her husband to be a helper, and help him feel like the man God created him to be. If I love my husband, I won’t view his sexual needs disapprovingly. Since all men are created with a loneliness need, they journey from boyhood into manhood needing to know that their manliness is good and positive. Humanly speaking, this is a question that only his wife should answer a blessing only she should give.
Protect Your Husband from Temptation
You have the power to protect your husband from temptation by making sure his sexual needs are met by you and you alone. Look at it this way: “If you don’t want to do his laundry, your husband can take his clothes to the cleaners. If you decide you don’t want to cook anymore for him, he can go out to any number of great restaurants to eat. But if your husband isn’t getting his sexual needs met at home with you, and he goes somewhere else, God calls that a sin.” Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. If your husband sins in this way, he’s responsible before God. But at the same time, understand that you play a powerful role in helping him not to yield to temptation. God created us as men and women with overwhelmingly inbuilt differences. If you love him, you’ll want to protect him from the limitless temptations that the enemy of his soul floats by him day after day. You are most powerful as a wife when you become a student of what your husband likes and then use that knowledge and your feminine skill to protect him from temptation and sin.
Keep Him for Life
When we stated our vows at the wedding altar, most of us repeated the words “to have and to hold” and “till death do us part.” We signed up for life. But have you ever thought about what it means to “have” and “hold” your husband?
To have implies a possession. It means he belongs to you and no one else. He is your responsibility, and you are his. Are you fulfilling your sexual responsibility? For frequency? Creativity? Have you turned him down more often than you have invited his love? Do you put his needs before or after those of your children or your work?
To hold means to keep or bond, much like a magnet. A magnet has the power within to pull another polar opposite to itself. My husband and I are virtual opposites in nearly every way. It’s what attracted us to each other in the first place. But I must continue to be a magnet in his life if I am to keep him. Too many women would love to have him if I let him leave home for work or travel constantly in a state of sexual deprivation. 1Cor 7:5 (NKJV) tells us, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to . . . prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
This may come as no surprise to you, but most men want—really want—their wives to passionately desire them. And when you express sexual longing for him—whether verbally or nonverbally—your husband is unlikely to refuse your magnetic power. The more a wife affirms her husband’s God-given manhood, the more she helps build him into the man God wants him to be. This power of a wife to affirm him, bless him, protect him, and keep him is blessed by God. It is a very good, nurturing, life-giving gift. Knowing this, I’ve often wondered why we women don’t want or choose to use our God-given powers to affirm and nurture our husbands more often.
This power you and I have as wives is blessed by God. It is a very good, life-giving thing. The question remains: What will you do about this power you possess? Are you going to put it to death, bury it, deny it, or will you choose to exercise your sexual power to create a soul-satisfying confidence in your man?
May the Lord give you the wisdom and understanding to use your feminine power positively to the glory of God. Amen.
- Biblical Women in God’s Design for Mankind. (covenantfamilyaffairs.wordpress.com)
- Christian Couples- Unity of Place of Worship (covenantfamilyaffairs.wordpress.com)
- Husbands and Wives (jemtree.wordpress.com)