Trying to decide if the person you’re dating is God’s best choice of mate for you but the answer isn’t clear? Determining God’s best is a critical decision, one that requires you put aside your own agenda and desires, in order to consider the most important thing: what is God trying to tell me about this relationship?
Below are some checking list that I believe will help you determine God’s choice of mate for you. Beloved remember, before you expect to find this kind of person you must be this kind of person for someone else. God will not give you His best if you are not already His best for someone else.
Growing up Spiritually. Ask: Does this person seek out God willingly and eagerly on their own? Does he/she rely on me to grow spiritually– read the bible, go to church or does he/she do this already? God’s best will have a growing relationship with Him that is genuine, fresh and intimate in a way that is noticeable for all to see.
Active Prayer Life. Ask: Does this person pray regularly? Does he/she easily pray with me or in front of others? Does he/she talk about their prayer concerns and answered prayer? A marriage without prayer is like a light that hasn’t being plugged in– it’s dark and powerless. God’s best must be conversing with Him on regular basis for direction in life and investing in the lives of others.
Pure. Ask: Is this person determined to wait until marriage to have sex or use my body for his/her own pleasure in any capacity? Does he/she live what they preach? A great “barometer” to a person’s heart is how they control their sexual urges, if they truly love God and want to be obedient to Him, there will be no excuses, playing with fire, or compromises. They will honor God above their fleshy desires and will wait for you.
Teachable. Ask: Does this person ask for help, do they admit when they are wrong and say sorry? Do they seek godly counsel, do they respect God– given authority in their lives and are they repentant and obedient in matters with God? There is no greater security in marriage (especially for women in submitting to their husband) than trusting a mate who is teachable before God and seeking His will above their own.
Honest. Ask: Does this person tell you the truth even when it’s hard, does he/she take responsibility for their actions( own up) when they do something wrong or hurtful, do they twist the truth or minimize it to get out of trouble? Counting on your partner’s word in marriage is vital. He/she shouldn’t be afraid to admit when they mess up.
Whole. Ask: Does this person place their hopes, expectations and emotional needs in God alone? During difficult times do they try to fill up holes with the emotional support of others (especially me)? God’s best knows that it is only God that can give true comfort, hope and security. In times of difficulties and challenges they know how to turn the light on Him for solutions.
Surrendered. Ask: Is this person stubbornly pursuing their plans and goals or do they frequently offer up their lives to God and His plans? If the person you are marrying is living for him/herself, you are not going to have the marriage God intended for you. God’s best will live a life surrendered to His Spirit.
Forgiving. Ask: does this person forgive and get over things easily, is there any area of bitterness or unforgiveness from their past that they have not dealt with? God’s best has a forgiving spirit and he/she recognizes God as being in control of their lives, so they can let go of offenses. This will work in your favor when you have marital conflicts.
If after going through the above check list and you still can’t determine God’s will for the future, then:
Wait – perhaps God is not ready to reveal His plan for your relationship yet.