The Bible is very clear about this subject. God is not the Author of confusion 1Cor14:33, so in order for there to be sanity in the home, He placed every member of the home under divine roles.
The troubles we experience in the home today is largely due to our refusal to play our roles as specified by God, we have chosen to carry out our responsibilities as dictated by our fallen human spirit instead of as led by the Holy Spirit of God inside of us.
We will briefly examine the roles of both the husband and wife in a marriage as ordained by God.
Biblical Responsibilities of the Husband.
Be a Leader
The scriptures provide a clear organizational structure for a marriage 1Cor11:3 and Eph5:22-30. God placed the ultimate responsibility with respect to the household squarely on the shoulder of the husband. Being “head” does not mean male dominance, where a man lords it over a woman and demands her total obedience to his every wish and command. God never view women as second class citizens, we are all His children and are of equal value before Him.
The teaching of the New Testament clearly states that women are to be respected, revered and treated as equal with men Gal3:28. Unfortunately, many husbands have not gotten the message. They degrade their wives by neglect or with insensitive and abusive treatment.
When God presented Eve to Adam in the Garden, he received her as a gift of great value from God to him. When husbands, particularly Christian husbands do not treat their wives as a precious gift from God and helpmate, they can cause their wives to search for a way to find significance and value as persons often outside God’s will— Feminist Movement.
Are you a Leader? Men who are “natural” leaders do not have problems in their homes because they know how to take over, control, guide and get things done without using brutish force and their wives naturally respect and obey them with gladness of heart and a sense of purpose. Most husbands are not real men but mere boys, that is why they have problems of being leaders in their homes, they have need to be led themselves but if such husbands will swallow their pride and sit at the feet of the Master who is a perfect example of a Leader they will turn out as good leaders.
Love your Wife Unconditionally
Your unconditional acceptance of your wife is not based upon her performance, but on her worth as God’s gift to you. If you want to love your wife unconditionally always be sure her emotional tank is full. One of the best ways to do this is to affirm her constantly, let her know verbally that you value her, respect her and love her.
Words and actions are vehicles for expressing love 1Jn3:18. One of the missing ingredients in male leadership in the home is sacrificial action.
When was the last time you gave up something for your wife— something you genuinely valued like a time out with the boys, a hobby etc? Sometimes you need to give up something you enjoy so your wife can have a break and see your love for her.
Serve your Wife
According to New Testament, being head of your wife does not mean being her master but her servant Matt20:27-28—Christ our role model for this type of leadership.
Christ, the Head of the Church, took on the very nature of a servant when He was made in human likeness Phil2:7.
One of the best ways to serve your wife is to understand her needs and try to meet them.
Do you know what your wife’s top three needs are right now? What is she worried about? What troubles her? What type of pressure does she feel? Learn the answers to these questions and then do what you can to reduce her worries, her troubles and her pressures.
What do you know about your wife’s hopes and dreams? Are you cultivating her gifts?
Another way to serve your wife is to provide for her that is by first assuming responsibility for meeting the material needs of the family 1Tim5:8.
Providing for her also means taking the initiative in helping meet her spiritual needs. You do this by modeling godly character, by praying with her, spending time together in God’s Word and by looking for ways to encourage her spiritually.
To be a leader, a lover and a servant is to accommodate into your life the gift God has given you— your wife.
Give up your life for hers and at the Judgment Seat of Christ, He will say “Well done thou good and faithful servant”.
May the Lord help us to meet His Standard for our lives that on the Day of Reckoning we will not be found wanting in respect of our responsibilities towards our spouses.
- The Christian Marriage (covenantfamilyaffairs.wordpress.com)