The Lighthouse Family Life Helpline Ministry site is all about the family and how to make your life & marriage count in the Kingdom of God. The Love of God is the Bedrock of all Relationships.

Monthly Archives: April 2012

This is dedicated to all women out there who had been abused, misused, battered, beaten and disappointed in life. I have good news for you; you are unique, you are a Diva. One afternoon as I sat in the Presence of the Lord meditating on His faithful and the awesomeness of the Works of His Hands, I heard Him say to me “Tell them who I made them to be”, and I asked who are they Lord?

 They are Ornament of glory

  The Crowning glory of the Works of My Hands.

  They are made from the finished product to exhibit Beauty, Splendor and Glamour.

 They are a dignified specie.

 They are My Treasure. 1Cor15:41.

God did not create the woman as an afterthought but as an integral part of His Plan in creation. The woman was designed and built by God in love and with special care. He took time in fashioning the woman. Woman, your uniqueness is a reflection of God’s purpose and design for you. God wants us to know value and encourage the woman in what she was created to be. It was God who said man needed a woman Gen 2:18. Adam did not imagine the woman but God had her in mind during the creation of the earth Gen1:26-27. A woman is a product of God; this makes her God’s property, His Treasure. The creation of a woman was a beautiful structuring; the woman is a Masterpiece of the Great Architect Gen2:21-23. Welcome to the beginning of a new attitude. Attitude is everything. What you believe affects what you do, what you do affect the response you get from others or the results you receive. What you receive affects your attitude towards life, it then affects your next move in life, it further affects the outcome of your actions, which will then have a profound effect on your Joy level, Success in life, Fulfillment in marriage etc. The good news is that you can renew your mind, so that your life can be transformed into one of endless possibilities Rom12:2. In order to achieve a life of endless victory, you have to change your attitude to life. You have to change some old ideas and concepts, embrace some new concepts. You need a rebuilding of your inner woman. We need to take a serious look at not only our inner attitude but also our outer habits. What changes are you willing to make in your life? Are you willing to pay the price for your dream of a glorious destiny to come true? This is where the girls are separated from the women, the average woman from the divinely set apart woman. If you are willing to apply the principles you will learn as God takes us through these series of teachings your destiny will be changed forever. There are women who achieved the DIVA status in life; they attained this position in life through diligence and commitment to refine themselves and their gifts.


A Diva is a celebrated woman of rare and outstanding talent, a woman of class, integrity, honor and poise. A spiritually, emotionally and physically stable woman. A Diva is a divinely set apart woman. Webster dictionary defines DIVA as PRIMA DONNA a word that means First Lady. Divas are born and not made. There is a Diva inside every woman just waiting to be released.


1. She is an outstanding woman. 2. The ultimate woman. 3. She is the best in her field or career. 4. The First Lady of her home. 5. The crème de la crème. 6. Divas command attention without demanding it. There is an air of confidence, finesse, style and originality about a true Diva. 7. She is the King’s daughter. 8. A Diva never leaves a room without leaving a part of herself behind (a rich deposit of wisdom, an encouraging word). Something that leaves a lasting impression in the hearts of those who interacted with her. We attribute this special quality to God. A deposit of the divine nature of God was planted into the spirit of every woman when He created her. She was set apart for a unique purpose, with divine credentials for living out her calling. A stamp was placed on her that made everyone recognize she was special, but somewhere between infancy and womanhood something tragic happened – the Diva within was lost. The seed planted by God was crushed beneath disappointments, criticism, negative experiences, bad choices, unfruitful behaviors etc. Woman, the Lord is saying to you right now, it is time to shake off the dust and let the true Diva seed blossom and unfold Isa52:1-2. It is time to shake yourself from the dust of debasement and distress of false doctrines, superstition and will worship. God is calling you to sit upon the throne of your glory. 2Pt 1:3. There is need for us to embrace the fullness of our relationship with God, take and use His advice in every area of our lives so as to come out like the true Divas that we really are. In order to become this Total Outstanding and Victorious package, we need to make sure everything in our lives is in divine order– Spiritually, Emotionally and Physically. It is time to listen to God for He alone holds the valid opinion of who you are. He knows, sees and understands everything about you. He is Straightforward, Honest and ever optimistic about your divine possibilities. A true Diva is spiritual. She has embraced her Savior and yielded to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.


1. Discard the negative, absorb the positive. 2. Do not volunteer to be a victim. 3. Examine your friends and associates. 4. Find out what God has to say about the real you. 5. Protect what is precious to you, that is your heart, your body and your love. Pro4:23 6. Cultivate your Character and Gifts. 7. Take one day at a time, see the big picture God has painted of your life and work towards actualizing it. 8. Speak the truth, but always with graciousness and gentility. Let your goal be to encourage and not to destroy. 9. Do not seek to control, manipulate or cause others to depend heavily on you. 10. Be driven to empower others; this is where the true power lies. Unto us a Diva is born and unto us a divinely set apart woman is given.

Pro 14:1 “Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands” (AMP).

Pro 12:4 “A virtuous and worthy wife (earnest and strong in character) is a crowning joy to her husband….” (AMP) For you to excel in life and in the family as a homemaker, you need wisdom.

Pro 4:7-9, admonishes us to befriend wisdom, for she will give to our heads a wreath of gracefulness, a crown of beauty and glory will she deliver to us, if we allow her to direct us, she will bring to us profiting in all our endeavors including homemaking.

What is a Home?

A home is a dwelling place, but not every dwelling place is a home. A home is a place where you live, especially with your family. It is your haven; a place you go to for comfort, peace and tranquility. A place of safety, where the hostility happening outside cannot reach you. The difference between a house and a home is the presence of a wise woman. A wise woman transforms her house into a home by her actions; she is the one according to the scriptures that builds the house, transforming it into a home, which becomes a safe place for herself, her loved ones and everyone who comes her way. She turns the mortar and bricks of the house into a home, where love, joy, peace and hospitality can be felt. A woman who allows the wisdom of God to direct her affairs in life is the heartthrob of her husband. She is the Virtuous woman of Proverb 31:10-31. The kingdom of God is a kingdom of choices, God will only advice you, but whatever is your choice, you will receive the reward. The choice is yours, either to be a wise builder or a destroyer Deut30:15-20. In fact, you are a product of the choices you made yesterday. I can hear the Spirit say, choose well today so that you can have a better tomorrow.

How do you build a house and transform it into a home as a wise woman?

Pro24:3-4 “Through skillful and godly wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built and by understanding it is established (on a sound and good foundation). And by knowledge shall all its chambers (of every area) be filled with all precious and pleasant riches” (AMP).

Pro 9:1 “Wisdom has built her house she has hewn out and set her seven (perfect number of) pillars” (AMP).

Let us look at the seven vital pillars for transforming the house into a home.

A. Qualitative Walk with God. Matt 6:33. God desires that you develop your spiritual life in order to be a wise homebuilder. You are to examine your heart condition towards God. If your relationship with your Maker is in order it will reflect in your relationship with your family, that is your husband and children. Without Christ, your life is like a super car without key, you cannot get it started, make it work or use it. You cannot go anywhere with it. A relationship with God is the key to all life situations, including your marriage. God alone possesses the instruction manual for your marriage and that wonderful home you dream of. The first pillar in building that wonderful home you desire and deserve is seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. As you do this diligently, shunning all distractions from within and without, Jesus Himself will see to it that your house is transformed into a home. Decide today to put God first every day of your life, and your life and marriage will never be the same again.

B. Be a Supportive Teammate. Eccl 4:9-12. Your house can only be transformed into a home, if you accept your role as a supportive teammate with your husband. You are to compliment his efforts and not to order him around. You have an important part to play in making your house a safe haven for your loved ones. We women, tend to forget that the success of the marriage depends on us as much as it depends on the man. If we refuse to play out our role in the marriage, what we will have at the end of the day is a “madhouse” where everything is in chaos instead of the blissful home we desired and deserved.

Let us quickly remind ourselves of the roles of husbands and wives:


He is the head, so he is to lead in the marriage and family, before the fall, the man and his wife were doing their things their own way; but after the fall a new order was set in place Gen3:16; Eph5:22-24 and Col3:18. In the same way you submit to the Lord, you are to willingly follow your husband’s leadership. He is to work and provide for his wife and children 1Tim5:8. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church Eph5:25.


She is to help her husband, as wives we are God’s solution to our husbands’ need for a helper and companion. We are to submit to our husbands, this is a non negotiable commandment to wives from God. We must adapt ourselves to our husbands’ leadership and their way of leading. You are expected to respect your husband as a Christian wife, you are to reverence, respect, praise and honor your husband; failure to do this, is a sin in the eyes of God. If you have a good relationship with God carrying out this commandment will be cheap and easy for you. You are to love your husband that is be affectionate, treat your husband in a loving manner, cherish him and enjoy him as your best friend. To build a priceless home, you must follow God’s plan for your life and marriage. Do not postpone your obedience to your roles as a wife or make it conditional to your husband’s fulfillment of his assignment. Do not wait for your husband to change before you perform your roles. Instead of rating our husbands, let us check ourselves and prayerfully ask God to help us make amend where we are lacking in carrying out our roles. No matter who our husbands are, and their spiritual condition our roles still remains: Help; Follow; Respect and Love Your husband’s failures and shortcoming in discharging his duties does not give you the right to sin.

C. A Quality Prayer Life. Lk 18:1-8. Jesus admonished us that we ought to pray and not to faint. How is your prayer life? Most of us leave the praying to our husbands, agreed that they are our spiritual heads, but as their help meet it is also part of our assignment from God to pray for our family. In fact, we are to pray without ceasing 1Thess 5:17. You are the spiritual watchman of that home. The biblical positions of the “watchman” are: on the way of the city; walking about in the city and on the hills and mountain tops. You are to observe closely the activities going on within the house; make your family ready to accept the Lord and be obedient to His word, that is prepare them for eternity; to recognize and confront disorderly or unruly behavior within the home; to report all disobedience to the Spiritual High Priest of your home. Also you are to patrol the borders of your home, watching out for any encroachment of the enemy long before any attack is launched against your home. You can only carry out your duties as a watchman of your home by effective fervent prayer. As a watchman you must be able to hear from the Lord and warn the family Ezk3:17. To put it bluntly, your husband is where he is today by virtue of the amount of time you spent praying for him; the same goes for the state of affairs in your marriage. You cannot enjoy a blissful home standing straight, your knees must be bent in prayers always; because the devil does not like you as long as you do not belong to him, and you can only fight him on your knees. Whether you are engaged in prayers of thanksgiving; praise/worship; supplication; request or petition, your knees must be in a bent position. Let me tell you one secret why you must engage in meaningful prayer time; no matter how difficult your husband is, your prayers to God everyday concerning him, will change him to the kind of man you desire and deserve; and he will find himself doing things for you he never thought he could do. Friends, prayer works faster than nagging, try it and you will not regret it. To raise godly children we need prayers, because our children are likely to mix with some other children with questionable backgrounds in their schools and work places; it is our duty as mothers to pray and our prayers will help mold them in the way of the Lord Gen18:19; 2Tim3:15.

D. A Meaningful Intimacy Song of Sol. 7:1-12. It is God’s idea that sexual intimacy be a holy and confined blessing in marriage; however temporary the excitement of sexual expression may be, its abuse will bring enormous heart break and suffering. Sexual union is reserved for marriage alone Ex 20:14; Pr5:15-20. The bible teaches that sexual intimacy is to be enjoyed regularly so that the couple may avoid temptations 1Cor7:3-5. Sexual intercourse is an intimate expression of affection between husband and wife. In fact the bible says it is a duty the husband and wife own to each other, they are to be available to each other and not to deprive one another except by mutual agreement and only for a short period of time least satan tempts them for lack of self control. Christian couple should never engage in sexual selfishness, and as a Christian wife never use your body as a means of exploiting your husband, whether directly or indirectly. It is a sin, if you practice this shameful act you are not better than the harlot on the street who sells her body for what she can gain from men Pro7:10-21. There are better ways of getting your husband to do things for you than using your body. May the Lord give us understanding.

E. Hospitality Proverbs 31:20. As a Christian wife you must be hospitable. Remember your husband came out of a family. He was raised in a family that includes parents, siblings and other extended relations. You are to show love to them, the fact that the bible says a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, does not mean you are to neglect your parents in law and not respect and show them love. Remember the bible says honor your father and mother. Once you marry, your husband’s parents become your parents, so you must extend to them the same honor and respect you have for your parents. The scriptures tell us that whatsoever you sow you will reap Gal6:7, one day you will become a mother in law and the same treatment you gave to your mother in law will be given to you; I hope you enjoy it when the time comes. Eph5:1-2 advices us to be imitators of God and walk in love; pay evil deeds with good deeds and the Lord will reward you with the desire of your heart which is a blissful marriage and a happy home. Take example from Ruth in the bible Ruth 1:16-17, she respected her mother in law, she was loyal to her; she was a humble and teachable daughter in law. She served her mother in law from her heart and the Lord rewarded her by putting her name in the Book of the genealogy of His Son Jesus Christ Matt1:5. Write your name in gold in the heart of your loved ones by being a daughter in law and a mother in law after God’s Heart.

F. Good Money Management Proverbs 27:23-27. Money management is a sensitive issue in most marriages, but with the wisdom of God, the nightmare surrounding money management in marriage can be turned to a thing of joy. Managing money is an act that only the Holy Spirit can teach. You either manage money or it will manage you. In the book of Proverbs, the Holy Spirit showed us five keys to good money management. As a Christian wife, you are the Chief Accountant of your home, so you must be a skilled money manager in order for your husband to trust you with his money. The reason most husbands are not open to their wives about their true financial position is lack of trust. They do not trust their wives with money; so in order not to go bankrupt they remain close as a clam on money matters; this is not right, there should be absolute openness in marriage. My husband is completely and absolutely open with me concerning his financial position, because he knows that I am for him and not against him; he does not have to hide his cheque book from me, why? Because financially he trust me. If your husband is not opened to you financially, check yourself and the foundation upon which you built your marriage.

Let us consider these five nuggets of good money management from the Scriptures:

(1) Good Accounting System Pr 27:23: How good is your record keeping? Keep a good track of what you own, owe, earn and spend.

(2) Planning Pr 21:5: Have a budget; planning how we spend money is essential to good stewardship. Planned spending brings satisfaction while “impulse buying” can have devastating consequences.

(3) Saving Pr 21:20: If you plan well and spend wisely you should be able to save for the rainy day.

(4) Contentment Pr 15:16: More money is equal to joy and peace of mind. To have plenty of money to spend is very good no doubt, but it is the contentment we have with whatever is in our hands today that brings enjoyment and joy in the Holy Ghost Phil 4:11.

(5) Giving Pr 3:9-10: Honour God with whatever income or resources you have. As a good money manager, you can always squeeze out something from a very tight budget to give to the Lord; it is not in the quantity but in the quality. As you do this, you allow the Lord to reign in your life and begin a divine cycle of blessing for you.

G. Kingdom Service Col3:23-24. Every Christian is to serve the Lord. You are saved to serve, and not to be served. Your service is unto God and not unto man, this is the truth that brings dignity to service, in whatever capacity you are called to serve do it as unto the Lord. As a Christian wife interested in transforming her house to a home, bear the following in mind as you pursue your kingdom service:

Serve those at home first. Never give to others, what you have not first given to those in your home. Your first service is to your husband and children. Jesus speaking in Acts 1:8: we are to be witnesses to Him first in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria before the end of the earth. Your family is your Jerusalem so that is the first place to start your kingdom service.

Serve with your husband’s blessing and support. Before you go into ministry or volunteer to help in any way at the Church ask your husband first. Submit that vision you have to your husband, he is your spiritual head. To go off with the vision without his blessing is to be running around town without a head. If the vision is genuinely from God your husband will support it wholeheartedly, for God is not the Author of confusion, He will defend whatever He authors. When I told my husband about the vision the Lord gave me concerning Family Life and the Newsletter publication; he supported me wholeheartedly and gave me his blessing. In fact he is my Editor in Chief; I do the writing but he still find time from his busy schedule to edit every issue of the newsletter published by us. Because I have the support of my spiritual head it will be difficult for the devil to kill the vision or use the vision to destroy my marriage.

Serve in whatever capacity you can. You are to serve with a grateful heart to the Lord. No service is too menial for you to do for the Lord. You can sweep, sing, evangelise, etc. Whatever your hands and heart leads to do, do as unto the Lord. The Master needs the open hands, the willing feet and the praying heart.

As we put these seven perfect pillars together in their proper place, may the Lord transform our houses into homes where all the Christian graces are available in abundance Gal 5:22-23 May our homes become city of refuge to our loved ones and a place of comfort for all the Lord will bring our way in Jesus Name. Amen.

You will probably have heard the story of “The Beauty and the Beast.” A young man who is pampered in his youth becomes increasingly arrogant and demanding as he grows older. Eventually, a wicked witch cast a spell on him transforming him into a beast as a punishment for his arrogance. His only hope for release was to be truly loved by a maiden; a seemingly impossible achievement. In his frustration he demanded to be loved, but his beastly behavior only drives people farther away until he was totally alone and isolated from the world of human beings. A woman saw something of value in the beast and begins to love him. That love transformed him back into a man and not just the man he was before, but a new, changed man. How could she have loved him as fearsome as he was? It’s a mystery, but it illustrates the power of a woman’s love.

Marriage is intended to be redemptive for both men and women. God has given women the privilege and the ability to bring life to our husbands with our love. Women have enormous power with men, which can be use for good or evil.

Consider these three examples from the Scripture:

The power of Delilah with Samson. Samson could take on an army of warriors, but he surrendered to the charms of one woman.

King David, who faced and felled a nine-foot Goliath, yet fell under the spell of Bathsheba. David was so obsessed, he was drawn away from his God into immorality, lies, and ultimately murder.

Solomon, who ruled over the golden years of Israel, but was captivated by the power of women. He became the first man to have seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines as stated in the Scriptures. Incredible!

A woman’s power over men has not lessened since those biblical days. Today, the advertising industry exploits this power in order to sell everything from cars to toothpaste. Magazines, billboards, posters, and store windows use attractive women, seductive women, and blatant sexual images to catch a man’s glance and capture his attention.

Every day men walk away from wives, children, friends, parents, siblings; risking career and reputation. For what? Another woman.

In the Middle East, young men and teenage boys willingly become human bombs, causing endless grief to thousands. For what? The promise of seventy-two beautiful virgins in paradise.

Female attraction can be deadly. But death was not our Designer’s intention. Feminine power was intended to give life. Eve (whose name means Life giver), was designed to complete her Adam, to nurture life in him and to create new life in children.

Many wives do not understand how profound this power is. God has blessed you with a feminine ability that you can use for good in your husband’s life. God has plans for your man. He wants to use you to grow him into a godly man. Your power can meet his loneliness and his companionship needs, affirm his sexual identity, protect him from temptation, and keep him for life.

Meet His Companionship Need

Something is missing in every man. And it’s by divine design. After God created Adam, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen 2:18). It’s an amazing truth that the perfect God of the universe created a perfect human being and then declared, “It is not good.” Man was incomplete in the sense that he was lonely. God orchestrated the perfect arrangement for His grand finale of creation: a woman, the “helper suitable for him.” It is still true since “in the beginning” in Genesis, a wife makes a man complete and whole.

Your husband has this same “loneliness” need.

God brought you into his life to be his “helper” to meet his need for a companion. In Christian marriage, this oneness is a unity of mind, body, and soul, and is celebrated through the sexual union.

Lest we women feel somehow superior that we are not needy. We are! We are incomplete without our husbands. We need our husbands to help us become who God designed us to be. Neither the man nor the woman can stand alone; as mentioned above, God’s Word makes it very clear “it is not good that man should be alone.” Women must think as God instructs them to in the Bible about their men, themselves and their marriages.

Of course, now after the fall of mankind, no one is totally complete without the indwelling presence of Jesus Christ. Moreover, perfect completeness cannot occur on earth, we will only attain this in Heaven. But in marriage we can touch the holiness of God; we can recapture a taste of what was lost in the Garden of Eden when a husband and a wife express love, transparency, trust, and sacrifice in the mystery of marital intercourse.

Bless His Sexuality

When God made a man to be attracted to a woman, He had multiple purposes in mind. Adam’s loneliness need was not just for a companion. He needed Eve for the joy of finding pleasure in her total person; body, soul, and spirit and for the affirmation and blessing of his identity as a man that come through her love for him. Gen 2:25 says, “. . . and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” As a result, every wife has a deep, life-altering responsibility to her husband to be a helper, and help him feel like the man God created him to be. If I love my husband, I won’t view his sexual needs disapprovingly. Since all men are created with a loneliness need, they journey from boyhood into manhood needing to know that their manliness is good and positive. Humanly speaking, this is a question that only his wife should answer a blessing only she should give.

Protect Your Husband from Temptation

You have the power to protect your husband from temptation by making sure his sexual needs are met by you and you alone. Look at it this way: “If you don’t want to do his laundry, your husband can take his clothes to the cleaners. If you decide you don’t want to cook anymore for him, he can go out to any number of great restaurants to eat. But if your husband isn’t getting his sexual needs met at home with you, and he goes somewhere else, God calls that a sin.” Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. If your husband sins in this way, he’s responsible before God. But at the same time, understand that you play a powerful role in helping him not to yield to temptation. God created us as men and women with overwhelmingly inbuilt differences. If you love him, you’ll want to protect him from the limitless temptations that the enemy of his soul floats by him day after day. You are most powerful as a wife when you become a student of what your husband likes and then use that knowledge and your feminine skill to protect him from temptation and sin.

Keep Him for Life

When we stated our vows at the wedding altar, most of us repeated the words “to have and to hold” and “till death do us part.” We signed up for life. But have you ever thought about what it means to “have” and “hold” your husband?

To have implies a possession. It means he belongs to you and no one else. He is your responsibility, and you are his. Are you fulfilling your sexual responsibility? For frequency? Creativity? Have you turned him down more often than you have invited his love? Do you put his needs before or after those of your children or your work?

To hold means to keep or bond, much like a magnet. A magnet has the power within to pull another polar opposite to itself. My husband and I are virtual opposites in nearly every way. It’s what attracted us to each other in the first place. But I must continue to be a magnet in his life if I am to keep him. Too many women would love to have him if I let him leave home for work or travel constantly in a state of sexual deprivation. 1Cor 7:5 (NKJV) tells us, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to . . . prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

This may come as no surprise to you, but most men want—really want—their wives to passionately desire them. And when you express sexual longing for him—whether verbally or nonverbally—your husband is unlikely to refuse your magnetic power. The more a wife affirms her husband’s God-given manhood, the more she helps build him into the man God wants him to be. This power of a wife to affirm him, bless him, protect him, and keep him is blessed by God. It is a very good, nurturing, life-giving gift. Knowing this, I’ve often wondered why we women don’t want or choose to use our God-given powers to affirm and nurture our husbands more often.

This power you and I have as wives is blessed by God. It is a very good, life-giving thing. The question remains: What will you do about this power you possess? Are you going to put it to death, bury it, deny it, or will you choose to exercise your sexual power to create a soul-satisfying confidence in your man?

May the Lord give you the wisdom and understanding to use your feminine power positively to the glory of God. Amen.

Old movies husband and wife

Old movies husband and wife (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As Christian couples we are called to walk in unity of heart and purpose with our spouses. The issue of the place of worship is one of such areas we must agree to walk together in unity.

Amos 3:3 says “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” In Amos’s question the word “together” means to walk as a unit, as one. Two people walk to the same destination at the same pace and with the same rhythm. They also must have “agreed” to take the walk of unity, as a unit with oneness.

Gen 2:24 tells us God created man and woman to become “one flesh” when they marry, not two separate beings who go their own separate ways.

There is a unity in marriage which is unique and holy. The moment you agree to marry each other, you are both agreeing to have one mind, one purpose, one desire etc. Your coming together is expected to bring completeness to each other in the areas of your deficiencies.

There is one area of unity in which the devil has been attacking Christian marriages. It is in the area of place of worship. In the course of counseling couples, I have been asked this question. Is it wrong for a Christian couple to attend separate churches?

You see married couples attending separate churches from their spouse is a situation that is more common than one might think. It is common for the children of such couples to be divided between the two churches, thereby creating a division in the family that is not healthy for the growth of that family.

In order to determine whether or not it is “wrong” for husband and wife to attend separate churches, we must first look at marriage as a relationship instituted by God.

What was God’s intention for establishing the marriage institution?

We will start from the very beginning. The Book of Genesis gave us an account of how God created the world and His purposes and desires which every creature is expected to fulfill.

He created man for the sole purpose of fellowship; after creating Adam, there was no playmate for Adam among the animals that will satisfy that desire of fellowship that God created in him. God had to create Eve and they (Adam & Eve) became one flesh Gen2: 18-24.

They were expected to fellowship together, plan and take decisions together and not to live separately. The entrance of sin brought an end to this beautiful desire of God. From that time everyone went his separate ways. Husbands and wives lost that divine seed of fellowship and oneness that God put in them at creation.

This was the order of the day among the children of Israel of old, husbands and wives involved in separate worship Hos 2:1-13. The same thing is still happening today, couples involved in separate worship.

With the coming of Jesus Christ, we were redeemed from sin and the seed of fellowship was restored back to us through the finished work on the Cross.

Moreover, marriage is the picture of Christ and His Church (Believers) as described in Eph 5:31-32. The marriage covenant between a man and a woman is symbolic of the covenant between Christ and those for whom He died. His is an everlasting covenant and one that is holy and sacred, just as marriage is to be holy, sacred and unbroken. This unity of two people into one reaches its most sacred in the spiritual realm, where the two are to be of one mind regarding the basic doctrines of Christianity; God, Christ, sin, salvation, heaven/hell, etc. This unity of understanding through the ministry of the Holy Spirit unites husband and wife in a bond unlike any other on earth.

While it’s possible for husband and wife to have differing tastes as far as music, preaching or worship styles, children’s programs, etc., none of these things are significant enough to break up the family into two parts so they can attend different churches based on tastes.

It is clear that if both churches are Bible-based and Christ-honoring, there is no reason why one spouse can’t bend a little and put his/her personal preferences aside. An even better alternative is for the couple to join together to seek a church, where the Word of God is preached as the only source for faith and practice. Where the entire family can learn the true gospel of Jesus Christ and fellowship with like-minded believers. In this, the husband as the spiritual head of the family should take the lead and make the final decision, lovingly taking his wife’s input into consideration.

This issue of common place of worship between married couples is a problem that cut across religion and ethnic groups.

Sadly, the two church family situations have continued to be a problem among Christian believers (purchased by the Precious Blood of Jesus). It is a shame that, we who are expected to show the world the true meaning of fellowship and unity in marriage are not practicing what we profess.

Matt 5:14 says “we are the light of the world, a city set on the hill that cannot be hidden”. Other religions are to take example from us on how to rule their affairs and their homes.

By the time the man of the house wakes up to his spiritual responsibility as the Priest of his house and prayerfully seeks the face of the Lord concerning the mind of God for his family’s place of worship, the issue of two church family will become a thing of the past.

The problem of two-church family is most common in marriages, where the couple is raised in different denominations with different doctrinal positions. The Bible tells us that a man (woman) shall leave his/her father and mother and they shall become “one flesh”. This means apart from physically leaving your parents homes to become married to each other; you are to leave behind denominational and doctrinal differences and prayerfully adopt the worship center God has ordained for you as a couple.

Without mixing words, in the issue of the church where you should worship as a married couple, the wife must worship where her husband worships for the sake of peace, harmony and unity of the home.

This is why Apostle Paul admonished us not to be unequally yoked 2Cor6:14-16, it is very dangerous for a bible believing young lady to be yoked together in marriage with a non bible believing young man or someone with different doctrinal position from her own.

Once she marries such a man, she is expected to believe what he believes!!!

Two people entrenched in their different doctrinal positions often find it difficult to compromise and reconcile, a couple in such situation may be forced to attend different churches, especially if one or both spouses consider the other spouse’s beliefs to be unbiblical.

If you find yourself in such situation in marriage, there is hope, for with God all things are possible Matt19:26. Both spouses should commit to prayer that the truth is revealed and spiritual unity be achieved.

Let’s not deceive ourselves, doctrinal conflicts must be resolved in a marriage before true unity can be achieved.

The benefits of a couple worshipping together in the same church cannot be overemphasized.

Below are some of the benefits of worshipping in the same church as a family.

1. You and your family have the same spiritual covering.

2. Have a common spiritual base from where you can launch attacks on the enemy of your soul and home.

3. Feed from the same spiritual table.

4. Enjoy spiritual unity, such that the enemy cannot penetrate your home Matt18:19.

5. Have opportunity of building a relationship with other believers with like minds, thereby having common spiritual friends.

6. Your children enjoy the fellowship of other children whose parents are also members of the church.

In any way the enemy has been cheating you of the benefits of worshipping together in the same church as a family, I pray that the Almighty God will intervene in your affairs and give you the desire of your heart in Jesus Name. Amen.

Beloved, you are about to read accounts of some women in the Bible times, who in spite of their circumstances and challenges of life, were used by God to bring about His Eternal design for mankind. Though, these are Eastern women who lived in ancient times, yet their stories apply to our lives and the difficult issues we face in our world today. These women were on the edge; they had courage, took risk, did unexpected things, lived daring lives and made mistakes. These women were not perfect, but God in His Infinite mercy used them in His Eternal Plans and Purpose for mankind. There are lessons we can learn from them, that when applied in our own life situations will help us fulfill God’s design for our lives.

 EVE GEN4:25

The First Woman

Eve was a redemptive instrument in the Hands of God. We know from the bible that God created Adam and Eve, and that all mankind are descendants of these ancient couple. While Eve was deceived by the serpent, and the first to violate the divine regulations governing their life Gen2:16-17, the Word of God holds Adam as the disobedient one, who knowingly broke trust with God 1Tim2:14.This does not mean that the woman was less intelligent or more vulnerable to deception than man, but under the circumstances of the Fall of man, deception of the woman preceded active disobedience of man. It is remarkable to note that God in His Infinite mercy and divine Grace chose to bring about the redemption of man from the yoke of sin, through the Seed of the woman. The one first scarred by sin is selected to be the one first promised to become an instrument of God’s redemptive work Gen3:15. The birth of Seth, the “seed” given to replace the murdered Abel, was the first in the “bloodline” that will trace to the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ. Eve’s distinct place in the failure of the first couple becomes the soil in which God’s mercy plants the first seed of promise. The lesson is obvious, however deep the failure, God’s grace is deeper, “for He is able to make all grace abound towards of us”.

 JOCHEBED EX6:20; NUM26:59

Preserver of A Nation.

Though mentioned only twice in the bible, she emerges as an intricate part of the divine will in the redemption of Israel. Distinguished as Moses’ mother, she is pivotal in the preservation of his life.Ex2:2-3, an action that is described as faith filled and courageous Heb11:23. The personal effort and work of her hands coincided with her faith in the saving grace of God. Faith does not absolve us of responsibility in utilizing the resources, gifts and abilities given us by God Jas2:17-18. The decision to surrender the child to the water was a total affirmation of her confidence in God. Jochebed not only saved her son, but was used by God through devotion and diligence to preserve a nation. The lesson we learn from her encounter with destiny is that, to know whom we believe, encourages us to place our most valued possession in His care 2Tim1:12. This is the focus of faith, not merely what we believe, that is understanding a particular promise, but knowing Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith Heb12:2; focusing on the Person behind the promise more than the promise itself. Vital faith rests in Him Heb4:9-10; abides in Him Jn15:4&7 and cannot be separated from Him by any circumstances or power Rom8:38-39.


A Godly Quest for Equal Rights.

Zelophehad, a Gileadite, of the tribe of Manasseh had no sons, but had five daughters who set a legal precedent in Israel. Their names were: Mahlah meaning “Sickness” or “Disease”; Noah meaning “Rest” or “Comfort”; Hoglah meaning “Partridge” of “Boxer”; Milcah meaning “Queen” or “Counsel” and Tirzah meaning “Pleasantness”. If we accept the names of these women as pictures of their abilities, natures, or adversities they had to overcome, then we see all the qualities necessary for the tenacity, tact, courage, wisdom and grace they needed to request and receive an inheritance for themselves. Their presentation of their case to Moses and the Elders of Israel (Num27:2), when land was being shared to the tribes, is the first instance of an appeal for equal rights for women. All five daughters manifest a balance between a spirit of confrontation and a spirit of cooperation. They attacked injustice Num27:3-4, and God defended them when they allowed Him to be their Deliverer/Provider Num27:6-7. Their wisdom in trusting God to see that they were not denied their request paid off. They reveal a contemporary pathway to overcoming inequality while sustaining a godly spirit.


The Spirit filled Multitalented Woman.

Deborah whose name means “Honeybee” was a prophetess, and she rose in ancient Israel as a female Judge, whose multiple leadership functions demonstrate the possibilities available to any woman who will allow God’s Spirit to fill and form her life. Deborah also acquired a reputation as a wise settler of disputes, counselor, wife and deliverer in time of war. She was a mother in Israel Judg5:7. She became a celebrated leader of political influence and authority, while maintaining the grace and dignity of womanhood. Her successful mobilization of Israelite militia demonstrated her leadership ability and spiritual insight. Because of Deborah’s godly and skillful leadership traits, Barak (as Commander of Israel’s armies) would not go to battle without her, even when told that he would not get full honor for the victory Judg4:9. Under her leadership, the people witnessed God’s providential assistance in the form of a massive storm and the defeat of Sisera’s superior armed forces. Deborah represents the finest possibilities of a gifted, God fearing woman who allows the Spirit of God to develop her full potentials to impact the world around.

 HANNAH 1SAM1:2-20

The Woman God Remembered.

Hannah whose name means “grace” had to contend with a situation that exhibited the exact opposite of her name. She was barren. Barrenness was the ultimate tragedy for a married Hebrew woman. The inability to perpetuate the name of her husband, and secure the orderly transfer of his estate upon his death, often resulted in insecurity, humiliation and disgrace 1Sam1:6-7. Even in our contemporary world, there is a social stigma attached to being barren. Hannah had something to her credit; she was a woman of prayer, faith and strong desires. Her prayer in 1Sam1:10-11 demonstrates the proper way to handle situations over which we have no control. She sought God for what only He could do Ps34:15. God used the burden of Hannah’s heart to bring about a surprisingly, larger solution to the burden of His own Heart.      Barrenness was not only Hannah’s condition; it was Israel’s condition as well. It was a season of spiritual need and little prophetic activity 1Sam3:1. God sought a voice to speak on His behalf to His People. Little did Hannah know that her intense intercession for a child was moving in concert with God. He gave her a son and also brought forth His will and blessing for a whole nation 1Sam3:19-20. Hannah’s prophetic prayer in 1Sam2:1-10 reveals much regarding her spiritual maturity and insight, she was filled with joy, she recognised God’s Holiness and Strength; His Sovereignty and Grace. As we entrust the longings of our hearts to God, He moves on our behalf, but also advances His larger plan through us at the same time.

 ABIGAIL 1SAM 25:2-35

A Woman of Understanding

Her life was difficult in that she married a harsh and evil man (Nabal), but she was a woman of good understanding, she was wise, respectful and kept her heart right before the Lord. When her husband played the fool (1Sam25:25), she did not try to change his behaviour, but she intervened wisely by interceding for the lives of her people. She took up the role of a peacemaker 1Sam25:18-51. She was also a woman of courage under pressure, she turned from her own short sighted agenda to God’s eternal purpose. She did not allow revenge for all she had suffered in the hands of Nabal to blind her to take a wrong step. Her courage resulted in a great deliverance for her household. As a wise woman, her wisdom in effect surrounded and protected her mind, thereby bringing honour to her household Pr12: 4a. Finally, she was a godly woman; she knew God and His ways. As a result, God could use her to powerfully influence others, even a king. As a godly woman, abiding in the Holy Spirit, learn to trust in the insight and understanding the Lord gives you concerning the affairs of your home. A godly woman adorns herself with a spirit that is not self-exacting, or casting herself as her husband’s teacher, but seeking ways of being a true helpmeet for her husband, in order for him to fulfil his God given vision. She receives insights from the Lord and with a humble spirit relates it to her husband for the good of the marriage. A woman who cultivates her relationship with God first, then relates appropriately to her husband will powerfully influence him in every area of his life.

 HULDAH 2KINS22:3-20

The Woman and Today’s Prophetic Possibilities

The name Huldah is derived from the Hebrew root word “cheled” which means “to glide swiftly”. Her name probably reflects her quickness of mind and her ability to swiftly and rightly discern the things of God. She was used by God in a fleeting moment of history to voice His judgment and His prophecy, and to spark off one of the greatest national revival in the history of Israel. She is a case study of the character and the potential of a woman, who today will receive the Holy Spirit’s fullness and step through whatever open door God provides. She commanded the respect and confidence of the High Priest Hilkiah and Shaphan the Scribe, this shows that spiritual influence flows from spiritual lifestyle, not merely from the presence of spiritual gifts. Acts 2:17-18 promises that the Church age allows for a rapid increase of the Holy Spirit’ anointing upon women. Huldah’s example of respectful, trust begetting, forthright living teaches on the grounds for wise and effective spiritual ministry.


Rising to meet your Destiny.

The account of Esther unfolds the way God opens destiny to any person who will keep His priorities. Esther was a Jewish orphan, a virtual nonentity, raised by her cousin Mordecai. Esther’s Hebrew name was Hadassah which means “Myrtle”, she reflected the myrtle in her courage and obedience, which clearly did not wither even in the face of death Esth 4:16. In Persian, “Esther” means “Star”. Again her beauty, grace and character shone bright and unwavering, against the darkness that threatened her people Esth 5:1-8; Esth 7:1-10. Even in the presence of recognition, success, wealth and luxury, an environment many covet, but which has so often proven destructive to spiritual commitment, Esther retained her sense of perspective and integrity. The following are the lessons to be learnt from her account:

1. She recognized God’s providence in her placement in life: she believed God, and not her beauty put her on the throne Esth 4:14.

2. Her respect for the power of prayer and fasting: she recognized the reality of the spiritual realm and the Holy Spirit’s resources Esth 4:16.

3. Finally, her unswerving will to lay down her own life for others and her wisdom and patience in pursuing her enterprise.

 MARY LUKE 1:26-56

Faithful Mother: Obedient Disciple.

Mary loved the Lord from her childhood; she was devoted to God, brought up in the way of the Lord. She was a virgin, uneducated, from a poor background. To make matters worse, she lived in an obscured village that most Jews disdain, Nazareth Jn 1:46. Above all, she was a privileged vessel, chosen to bear God’s Son. She was a participant in the miracle of incarnation at a level no other human being can comprehend. It is clear she did not claim to understand it herself, but simply worship God in humble acknowledgment of the phenomenon engulfing her existence: “My soul magnifies the Lord” she exclaimed Lk 1:46. We can hardly fathom the bewildering moments she experienced when:

1. Simon prophesied future mental/emotional suffering Lk 2:34-35.

2. She and Joseph spoke with Jesus after they thought He was lost in Jerusalem Lk 2:40-50.

3. Jesus gently rebuffed her at the wedding in Cana Jn2:4.

4. Jesus seemed to reject her and His brothers’ efforts at helping Him, though they clearly misunderstood Him at that time Matt 12:46-50.

These instances teaches us the wisdom of persistence and obedience in following God’s basic directives on our lives, even when the details of the outworking of His Will are unclear or mystifying. Mary is a case study in the pathway forward in God’s will. Rather than using her position as the Mother of Jesus, to sought elevation in authority and influence for herself, among those who saw Jesus for who He was; Messiah, she remained steadfast with Him all the way to the Cross, not caring for her own protection Jn 19:25. She obediently joined the other disciples of Jesus in the Upper Room, waiting as He commanded, for the coming of the Holy Spirit Acts1:14. Mary was a model of responsive obedience, one who lived out her own directive to the servants at Cana. A timeless advice for all ages “whatever He (Jesus) says to you, do it” Jn2:5.


An Empowered Witness.

The story of the woman of Samaria teaches us a classic lesson in God’s redemptive action. Looking at the scenario critically, a lot of factors were against the woman:

1. The ongoing contempt of Jews for Samaritans Jn 4:9.

2. The reputation of the woman Jn 4:18.

3. The cultural restrictions of male and female interaction Jn 4:27.

But Jesus initiative forgave, restored and empowered her to persuade men to heed a Jewish Messiah. A transformed woman became a great evangelistic influence, as many Samaritans responded to Jesus as Messiah Jn 4: 29-30, 39-41.
Our Savior’s grace, seen in this woman of Samaria, illustrates how prejudices, beliefs, practices and exposures need not confine or destroy the potential of a person. An unnamed Samaritan woman received life changing revelation that eluded many learned scholars (1Cor 1:26-29). Spiritual insight that propelled her to another dimension; perceiving Jesus as a “prophet” Jn 4:19, then as “Christ” Jn 4:29. She is a model of how true revelation can translate into a powerful witness.

 DORCAS ACTS 9:36-41

Practical Ministry: Helps and Hospitality.

Dorcas was a devout and compassionate woman, whose acts of generosity improved the quality of life for the less privileged in the community. Her concern extended beyond prayer, to various sorts of practical services of hospitality. She was noted for her aid to the poor, in particular to widows, for whom she served and did noble deeds Prov31:20. Because of her interest in the matter that touches the very heart of God; that is caring for the poor, the marginalized, the homeless, the widows, the orphans etc. God rose up in her defense when death came knocking on her door Prov19:17; Heb6:10. Through her ministry of Helps and Hospitality, her community experienced the manifested love of God.


Women and New Testament Ministry.

The reference to Philips’ daughters each exercising the gifts of prophecy, makes clear that women did bring God’s word by the power of the Holy Spirit, and that such ministry was fully accepted in the early Church. Paul reinforced this in 1Cor11:5, where he directs that a woman may ‘prophesy, but she must be properly “covered”, that is, rightly related to her husband or other spiritual authority’. Women were also in the Upper room, waiting the Holy Spirit’s coming and the birth of the Church Acts1:14. Peter’s prophetic sermon at Pentecost affirmed the Old Testament promise was now realised: “your daughters” and “maidservants” would now, share fully and equally with men in realising the anointing, fullness and ministry of the Holy Spirit, making them effective in witness and service for the spread of the Gospel. For example:

Phoebe was mentioned as a servant of the Church probably a deaconess. John’s letter to an elect (chosen) Lady with instruction concerning who she allows to minister in her “house” (a designation for early church fellowship) 2John.

Priscilla and her husband mentioned as co workers with Paul were more like a husband/wife teaching team Rom16:3-4. The acceptance of women in public place ministry in the Church is not a concession to the spirit of feminist movement, but the refusal of such a place might be a concession to an order of male chauvinism, unwarranted by and unsupported in the Scriptures. Clearly, women are to be encouraged to use their God given gifts to evangelize Christ in their homes and neighbourhood. Acts2:17; Acts18:24-26; Phil4:2-3.


Lighthouse (Photo credit: TSelrahc)

Dearly Beloved,

It is with great joy and gratitude to God that I welcome you to the Blog The Lighthouse.

You may want to ask what a lighthouse is and who is the Lighthouse?

The Webster dictionary defines a lighthouse as a tall permanent structure equipped with a usually revolving beacon light giving a signal to warn ships at night or in fog of the proximity of rocks, shores etc.

A light house can also be defined as a distinctive structure built on or near a shore which exhibits a light of distinctive characteristic to serve as an aid to navigation.

Spiritually as we journey through the sea of life we need a tall permanent structure equipped with distinctive light to warn us of imminent dangers, potholes, pitfalls etc on the way, a beacon of light to show us the way.

Jesus is our Lighthouse, He knows the way, the charts and maps for our journey is in His Hands Jn12:46, Jn14:6, as we turn to Him for guidance and protection we will not be drowned in the torrent of the waves and storms of life.

This blog is birthed by the Holy Spirit as a resource for teaching the undiluted word of God which is a lamp unto our feet Ps 119:105, as we navigate through the sea of life in our marriages and family life with the sole purpose of producing a blemish free family system that will be the envy of our world.

This is going to be a blog which will be teaching on all aspects of the family system.

  • Marriage
  • Parenting
  • Singles and Dating
  • Single Parenting
  • Widowhood

So whether you are tossing and turning in a sea of trouble or you are sailing smoothly ahead, we believe there is only One True Light Jesus who is fully capable of leading safely to harbor.

This blog is inspired by the Holy Spirit to point us to Him as He leads us safely to a blissful marriage and happy family life.

Beloved, darkness is nothing more than the absence of light, when light comes it fills the darkness and illuminates our way Jn1:5.

As the Captain of a ship nears the vicinity of the lighthouse, he grows stronger and more confident. He knows that very soon the light from the lighthouse will fill the darkness before him and guide him to safety. He knows the light will be there and he can depend on it.

Are you having trouble finding your way in the darkness of life?

Walk towards the light of God’s Word and Presence. He may choose not to answer every question but He will fill the darkness of your life with light so that you can walk confidently and without fear. Put your trust in God. He promised that He will always be there. You can depend on Him.

Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever He never changes but He can change your life story. He can take you from where you are now in your marital life to where you ought to be.

Don’t let the challenges you face today in your marital life take your eyes away from the Lighthouse that is your only source of True light in this murky waters of life.

Sit back and enjoy a glorious journey with the Holy Spirit as He navigates us through the sea of life beaming the Great Searchlight of the Spirit on all the dark areas of our family life.

Jesus said “I am the Light of the world whosoever believes in me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life” Jn8:12

A lighthouse stands alone. Its greatness towers over tormenting waters and rocks of destructive power. Its beacon shines through black night to each oncoming vessel.

The Lord is the LIGHTHOUSE in the lives of each Christian. The life of a Christian travels like the ship through waves of trials and rocks of tribulations. The beacon of light is the Word of God, directing each ship to a worthier, safer place. Current from raging waters tempts each ship to turn away from the light and travel recklessly through the blackness of night towards ultimate destruction. This temptation can only be overcome by putting complete faith in the Lord’s beacon and allowing Him to be the Captain of the Christian soul.

Ponder and Meditate on these Scriptures:

Isa51:10, Isa41:10-14

Matt5:14-16, Jn12:46, Jn14:6

and Lk11:33.

Remain Blessed

Highlights on the Ministry:

Lighthouse Family Life Help line Ministry believes that the family (as God has ordained it to be—man, woman and children) is under attack from every direction. These attacks must be countered with relative efforts from the Body of Christ in the areas of teaching, support, prayer and discipleship if there is to be a legacy of faith to hand down to the next generation.


And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise the foundations of many generations and thou shalt be called The repairer of the breach, The restorer of the path to dwell in.

Marriages and families are broken down and lay in waste.

Men and women around the globe want to know how to strengthen their marriages and raise godly children.

Lighthouse Family life Helpline Ministry is therefore committed to effectively developing godly families that change the world one home at a time.

Our mission is to serve as a resource in motivating and equipping families and people (of all cultures):

  • To glorify God
  • Make Christ known
  • Be used by God in a Family Revival and Reformation

Our goal is to effectively develop godly families by:

  • Teaching God’s blueprints for the family.
  • Providing practical, biblical resources on marriage and parenting.
  • Mobilizing and motivating people to impact others for Christ.

Prophetic Utterances

  • Enter into a new life of family and marital bliss such as you have never experienced before.
  • Arise shine for your light is come, your days of groping in the dark in your family life has come to an end.
  • You will no longer walk in darkness for the Lighthouse Himself will guide your ship to safe anchor.
  • It is your season of the manifestations of the promises of God in your life and family.
  • Your wilderness experience in your family life ends today in the precious Name of Jesus Christ Amen.