The Lighthouse Family Life Helpline Ministry site is all about the family and how to make your life & marriage count in the Kingdom of God. The Love of God is the Bedrock of all Relationships.

Tag Archives: Interpersonal relationship


Eccl4:9-12 “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up. And if one prevails against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken”.

Let us concern the threefold cord that binds people together in relationships. Though the above verse is often quoted during wedding ceremonies, but it applies to all relationships. In marriage especially, the threefold cord is the husband, wife and the Holy Spirit.

The Scripture says in Mal2:15 “And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously in your relationship“. It is interesting to note that for every godly relationship, God expect godly seed. Therefore, make your friendship a healthy one based on godly principles and nothing else.

When two people enters into a relationship whether in marriage or in normal friendship, they automatically enters a covenant whether they recognize it or not.

We all know that apart from holy matrimony, there are other relationships we keep in church, office, school, family and business. In every godly relationship, there is one invisible partner (Holy Spirit) which is the cord that ties the relationship together.

When the people involved in this relationship are bound together by God’s principles and allowed the relationship to be based on God’s Word, then, the Holy Spirit which is the cord brings to bear faithfulness, forbearance, honesty, consideration, harmony, peace and joy which will culminate in open door of blessing from above.

In our society today, it is sad to note that not all relationships are bound together by God’s Spirit. It is amazing what ties or bind some people together.

Let’s take a closer look on some relationships we keep, you will discover the underlying cord. For example, two women who are against their mothers in law, their binding cord might be hate or bitterness; two employees who are against their employer might as well be joined together by a cord of unforgiveness.

Other cords that bind people together includes: womanizing, partying, prostitution, gossiping rebellion, etc… Any relationship that is not promoting the kingdom of God is certainly promoting the kingdom of darkness.

TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS

The common relationship serves to benefit oneself. These benefits may be in the form of money, glory, self—worth, rewards, etc. The relationship flourished as long as these benefits are flowing.

There is another form of friendship, which is not common. This is a relationship with no hidden agenda, it is the God’s type of relationship that flows with agape love, and it serves for the benefit of another.

We all desire this type of relationship, but very few people are willing to pay the price for this type of relationship.

Let’s consider some examples of relationships in the Scriptures.

Positive Relationships:

1. Ruth and Naomi
(Ruth 1:16): Ruth and her mother in law; the cord that bound together was the cord of love, despite their cultural difference and religious background, they had undying love for each other. Pro17:17.

2. David and Jonathan (1Sam20:3-4, 16-17): King Saul knew the bond between his son Jonathan and David was a bond of love, so he kept his wicked plot against David’s life hidden from his son. Jonathan was ready to sacrifice everything for the relationship he had with David Pro18:24.

3. Daniel and his Friends (Dan2:17-19): Danger was looming over the land but Daniel and his companions decided to seek heaven’s intervention. Note they did not gather to murmur nor complain; neither did they gossip the king nor curse him. Pro15:4.

Negative Relationships:

 1Kgs13:18. A prophet lying to a fellow prophet.

 1Kgs3:19-20. Two friends switching each other’s blessing.

 Lk22:47-48. Jesus betrayed by a friend’s kiss (Judas Iscariot).

 1Kgs21:10. Jezebel ordered the murder of Naboth by his kinsmen.

 Acts6:10-14. Stephen murdered by the men of the synagogue

 Acts23:12-14. Jews bound with an oath to destroy Paul the Apostle.

Every relationship worth having should be bound by the Spirit of God. Instead of that relationship being a weight that will lead to destruction, it should help the people involved withstand evil and a threefold cord is not easily broken.

In a nutshell, real friendships don’t just happen and they are not maintenance free.

For us to have valuable relationships we should ask ourselves some questions like: How would you describe your friendships? What is God doing in both of you, individually and together as friends? How can you help each other become all God wants you to be?

A relationship based on godly principles and sealed by the binding force of the Holy Spirit will be refreshing, peaceful and never burdensome.

Finally, Matt18:19-20 emphasizes the dynamic power available in prayer of agreement. So, let us utilize this mystery for our advantages and for the enhancement of God’s kingdom.

Prayer.

Let the Holy Spirit help us choose our friends and partners.

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Mother and Child watching each other

God in His immeasurable wisdom put something in mothers that makes them bond well with their children. We will be discussing the bond between a mother and her daughter. One of the most important and enriching relationships you can have in life is the relationship between a mother and her children. But specifically, there is an incredible impacting relationship between a mother and daughter. Surely, your mother may drive you crazy or your daughter may be the cause of all things stressful in your life, but there is no denying the power of the mother— daughter bond that exists. Many of us are blessed with a supportive and loving mother– daughter relationship from the start while some of us will never know what that kind of relationship is like. Not every mother– daughter relationship is solid and many of us will have to work hard at developing a strong bond with our mothers or daughters. The dynamics of a mother—daughter relationship changes constantly as each woman enters a different stage or phase of life. But no matter the stage/phase of life the importance of a mother– daughter relationship never diminishes. Let us look at these tips for improving this unique bond between a mother and daughter.

Advice for Daughters

Part of being a nurturing and loving mother is having to be a disciplinarian, but once a daughter becomes an adult and establishes her own independence, a mother– daughter relationship evolves into more of friendship than discipline. Your relationship with your mother matures as you both mature. The older you get and the more life experience you acquire, the more you will be surprised at how your relationship changes.

 Involve your mum in your life: Your mum may want to spend more time with you but does not want to feel like she is imposing. She knows you have your own life, but she wants to be a part of it. The advice is you take time to engage in activities that will strengthen your bond with your mum. My relationship with my mum is very rich; we both have respect for each other. As we both mature in age, she began to see me as both her friend and her confidant. She became an important part of my life and my husband is her “blue-eyed” boy, since I do not live in the same country with her, I diverse means of involving her in my affair through regular telephone communication.

 Remember that she will always be your mummy: Your mum is the one that raised you, and no matter what age you turn or what decade of life she enters into, she will always be your mummy. Treat her with the respect and dignity she deserves. Ex21:17; Lev20:9 and Pro20:20. Remember to thank her being the great mummy she has been all these years.

 Honor your mother and regard her wise counsel: The scriptures taught us to honor our parents Ex20:12 and Eph6:2. No matter what status you have attained in life in terms influence and affluence, you are not permitted by the word of God to dishonor and disrespect your mother.
Irrespective of your mother’s actions or inactions towards you the word of God must be obeyed, and by so doing you will enjoy the benefits of God attached to His words concerning you.

Advice for Mothers

As a mother you have one of the most difficult jobs, but also one of the most rewarding. Your children are your life. There is a good chance your mother– daughter relationship has suffered some few blows as your daughter passes through the adolescent phase of life, but now that you are older and have adult relationship with your daughter, it is time to take some good advice for mothers.

 Stop criticizing: The time for being critical has passed. Your daughter is grown up and will usually not respond well to criticism, even though a mother may know best. Keep your criticism to yourself unless she asks you for advice, or you are being critical over something that is dangerous or immoral to herself or her loved ones. Also remember that constant criticism can lead to resentment, which can lead to a much bigger problem later on. When your daughter opens up to you for advice or support, it is because she trusts your motherly instincts and wisdom. Do not abuse that trust by being overly critical of her or her marriage, it can be harmful to your mother– daughter bond.

 Give your daughter some space: In other words stop meddling into the affairs of your daughter, especially the running of her home and marriage. She has her own life to live now; her identity seems almost independent of you now, even if you helped shape it. Let her experience her own adventures with you sometimes in the background. Remember your daughter is grown up now, so you can no longer play centre role in her life. My mother understands this very well and she respects my privacy. She knows she cannot interfere in my life and most especially my marriage. Even though she is welcome to my home at anytime, she cannot just leave her house and come visiting without notifying me and my husband. She does not meddle into my affairs, and if I do not seek her opinion over any matter she will not offer it. I enjoy a very wonderful relationship with her and all my friends that come in contact with her enjoy the same motherly love.

 Remember your own mother’s lesson: Your relationship with your own mother is an excellent tool for you to learn from to enhance your relationship with your own daughter. With age, you gain great perspective and you learn what you liked or did not like about your mother’s parenting style and what was most effective. Learn from your past to better your future with your daughter. Remember that parts of your own life lessons that you teach your daughter will be passed onto her own children.

Have a wonderful mother– daughter relationship that will be the envy of all.